The Chicks Dig the OTHER Fuzzy Dude!
by The Uncanny R-Man
Summary: It's baack! Due to popular demand, I have decided to resubmit this fic. Now with 65 percent less Hellfire! HankEmma, JamieCatseye, KurtKitty
1. Heartbroken Beast

**The Chicks Dig the OTHER Fuzzy Dude!**

**Chapter 1: Heartbroken Beast**

**By**

**The Uncanny R-Man**

_**Shout Outs- **I don't own anything, all familiar characters belong to Marvel._

**

* * *

Ten years ago- **

Hank McCoy was sitting in the rec room along with Logan and Ororo Monroe. Emma Frost was also there. She was snuggled up with Hank on the sofa.

Their relative silence was broken as the phone rang.

'I'll get it.' Ororo said as she got up from her seat on the windowsill. After a brief conversation, she returned back to the others.

'Emma, it's for you. Somebody form the… Hellfire Club?'

Emma's face lit up in glee, her life had been leading up to this moment.

'Thanks Ororo.' The blonde nodded as she took the phone form the other teen. 'Hello? Oh, Mr Shaw… Mm-hmm… Really? You_ actually _want me to join you? _The White Queen? _Wow, I don't know what to say… You bet that I'm in! See you then, bye!'

With her conversation, Emma replaced the receiver back onto the holder and returned to the others.

'I can't believe it!' Emma said with an excited little squeal. 'I've just been invited to join the Hellfire Club!'

'That's wonderful… I think.' Ororo replied as she gave her friend a congratulatory hug. 'Just one thing, what exactly is the Hellfire Club?'

'It's only the most exclusive club for mutants ever!' Emma replied, beaming from ear to ear. 'It's all set for Friday! They're going to pick me up by limo too!'

Hank's face fell sadly, was this the end of his relationship with the blonde telepath.

'I-is it permanent?' He asked.

'Yup, there's no turning back.' Emma replied, unaware of Hank's feelings. 'I can't just refuse an opportunity like this.'

'Very well, have a nice life Emma.' Hank sighed as he got up off the sofa and went upstairs.

'Well that's gone and screwed it up, ain't it?' Logan replied. 'Yer gone and broke the guy's heart.'

'It's all for the best, Logan.' Emma replied. 'I'm thinking of Hank's feeling too.'

She wasn't…

* * *

**The next day- **

Hank was still depressed over Emma's decision to leave. He made his way to the kitchen to take his mind off the situation with some heavy-duty snacking. He grabbed a tub of ice-cream and was about to tuck in when Emma walked in.

'Is everything alright, sweetie?' Emma asked as she reached out to touch him on the shoulder.

Hank flinched out of her way and turned to look as his soon to be ex-girlfriend.

'Emma, just tell me one thing.' He said, his face deathly serious. 'Which do you value more, the inevitable wealth and power of joining the Hellfire Club or your relationship with me?'

Emma paused to think the question over, unintentionally revealing her true feelings.

Hank sighed sadly and gave up on eating the ice-cream.

'I hope you have a nice life, Emma.'

'Hank, it's not that easy…' Emma said as she saw Hank walk off in the direction of the stairs. Hank didn't even turn around to acknowledge her pleas.

* * *

**Friday- **

It was time for Emma to leave for the Hellfire Club. As if in reaction to the mood of the mansion's inhabitants, the sky had turned grey and it started to rain.

Professor Xavier was bidding Emma goodbye. Ororo and Logan were also there.

'Are you sure that I cannot possibly convince you to stay?' Xavier asked.

'I'm sorry, Professor.' Emma replied. 'But my decision is final, I'm going to join the Hellfire Club, no matter what.'

'So yer quittin' on us, huh?' Logan growled. 'Never figgered you fer the quittin' type. Did you even stop ter consider Hank's feelings?'

'Logan!' Ororo admonished. 'Leave her alone, Emma is old enough to make her own decisions.'

'I'll really miss you, Ororo.' Emma said as she gave her friend a hug. 'It's been wonderful knowing you.'

'It's a pity that we won't be able to have our weekly sleepover, will we?'

'I guess not.' Emma replied with a sad smile. 'Look at it this way, you're the only girl here now, it makes you extra special.'

Emma looked at her watch and saw that it was almost time to go. She picked up her cases and walked down the steps to the waiting limo.

'Goodbye everybody, I'll miss you.

Upon reaching the limo, the chauffer got out and loaded her luggage. Before getting in, Emma looked up at the mansion one last time and saw Hank watching her out of the window.

'_Goodbye Hank, darling'_ She said telepathically. _'I'll miss you forever.'_

Hank didn't send back a reply; he just turned his back and disappeared back into the mansion. Emma sighed sadly and got into the limo.

* * *

**Now- **

Hank McCoy woke up with a groan. That was the third time that he had that dream this week. Perhaps a shower could help him get over it. It was doubtful, but it might help a tiny bit.

Upon finishing his shower, Hank dressed in some clean clothes and headed downstairs for breakfast. He could hear the sounds of several mutants vying for the best breakfast items even before he set foot in the kitchen.

Hank managed to nab the last of the coffee in the pot and was about to drink some when Xavier interrupted with a telepathic call.

'_All X-Men report immediately to the main hall, we have a guest.'_

Hank sighed reluctantly and out his coffee mug down onto the counter and followed the students out to the main hall where Xavier, Logan and Ororo were waiting.

'Care to tell us who the new arrival is, Professor?' Scott asked.

'Yeah Professor.' Kitty added. 'We're dying to like, know.'

'Perhaps you should better find out for yourselves.' Xavier replied as he nodded to Logan.

Logan took the hint and opened the door.

Hank's eyes widened with shock as he saw the new arrival, it was Emma Frost!

'Hello Henry, pleased to see me?'

**TBC… **

* * *

**_Next: Fuzzy and Frosty  
_**


	2. Fuzzy and Frosty

**The Chicks Dig the OTHER Fuzzy Dude**

**Chapter 2: Fuzzy and Frosty**

**By**

**The Uncanny R-Man**

_**Disclaimer- **I don't own anything, all familiar characters belong to Marvel._

* * *

**_Shout Outs-_**

_**Needles- **I'm sorry you don't like the pairing but I think Hank deserves a lady, don't you? Don't worry, Kurt will get some too. I've got to agree with you on the Frosty front, she's the hottest telepath out there._

_**Agent-G- **Yup, after you nagged me enough times I decided to put it back up. _

_**Mushi-SanBan- **Don't worry, there will be more Kurrty fluff coming up soon._

* * *

**Xavier's-**

Hank just stood dumbstruck as he saw Emma Frost standing on the doorstep of the mansion. Ororo on the other hand was pleased to see her former teammate and friend.

'Emma, it is wonderful to see you again!' Ororo grinned as he gave the blonde a big hug.

'It's great to see you too Ororo.' Emma replied as she replied the hug. 'Logan.' She nodded at the Canadian.

'Frosty.' Logan sniffed. 'Nice ter have yer back.'

'Aren't you going to introduce me to the children?' Emma asked.

Xavier chose to take the responsibility.

'Everybody, this is a former student of mine, Emma Frost.'

A sound of general greeting rose from the students.

'Oh, I also have somebody to introduce you to.' Emma said. 'Sharon, you can come in now.'

Students and teachers alike watched as a cat trotted in behind Emma. This was now ordinary cat however as it hat lavender fur.

'Nice pet yer got there Frosty.' Logan said.

'She's not my pet.' Emma replied. 'She's my foster daughter.'

Everybody watched in amazement as the cat changed into a teenage girl, albeit a girl with feline eyes, lavender hair and a long, lavender tail.

'Everybody, I would like you to meet Sharon Smith, my foster daughter.'

'Hey.' Sharon nodded as she held up her hand in greeting.

The students joked looked on dumbfounded at the sight of the new arrival, none more so than Jamie.

'Man, she's pretty…' The boy known as Multiple thought.

* * *

**Later-**

Emma had finished unpacking her stuff and was trying to look for Hank so she could catch up on old times. She found him in the lower levels of the mansion, in his lab.

'Still the big old science nerd, eh Henry?' She asked as she walked inside.

Hank just grunted in reply and continued to fiddle with one of Kurt's image inducers.

'I guess it came as a bit of a surprise to see me back.' Emma said as she stepped closer to the fuzzy blue scientist. 'Perhaps a pleasant one?'

Hank sighed heavily and put the image inducer back down on to his workbench.

'Why did you come back Emma?' He asked bitterly.

'I wanted Sharon to be taught here, just like I was.' Emma replied. 'But I mostly wanted to see you.' She added, her voice full of hope.

'Oh yes, I am sure that you were.' Hank snorted. 'Perhaps you are here to beg my forgiveness. Perhaps that if you ask enough, I might take you back and forget that you tore out my heart and ground it beneath your shoe.'

'Henry, joining the Hellfire Club was no reason to hurt you like that.' Emma replied honestly. 'I am truly sorry, you have to believe me.'

'I'm afraid that all forgiveness left me when I turned into a giant blue ape.' Hank said. 'Now if you'll excuse me, I have important work to do.'

Emma's face fell as she saw Hank's determined expression and she left the lab without another word.

Once he was sure that Emma had gone, Hank let out a roar of rage, threw the equipment form his workbench and bunched a meaty dent on its surface.

'Oh yes, nice going McCoy.' Hank muttered bitterly as he held his hand in pain. 'Not too immature.'

* * *

**Outside-**

While this was all happening, Jamie was walking through the mansion's grounds. Ever since Sharon had trotted into the mansion after Emma, he hadn't been able to take his mind off her. Jamie had never felt this way about a girl before. Sharon was the most beautiful girl he had ever seen, from her beautiful feline eyes, right down to her furry lavender tail.

Jamie was so involved in his thoughts that he didn't see a figure approach in the opposite direction.

'Ack! Watch out!' The person yelped, just as Jamie collided with them and fell to the floor, creating several duplicates.

The Jamies blinked in amazement as they saw who they had walked into; Sharon had landed on her butt and looked rather peeved.

'Oh God, I'm so sorry.' Jamie winced as he scrambled to get up. 'I-I wasn't watching where I was going.'

'Yeah, I kinda got that.' Sharon replied. 'You gonna be a gentleman and help me up or what?'

Jamie watched in horror as the duplicates fought over who got the honour of helping Sharon up. He quickly dodged the pile of dupes and helped Sharon up himself.

'You must be fun at parties.' Sharon sniffed as Jamie held out his hand and helped her up. 'Clumsy and being able to create copies of yourself, so much fun.'

Jamie just blushed and stared intently at his shoes.

'You got a name or will I have to call you Clumsy-Multiple-Dude?' Sharon asked.

'Madrox, uh… Jamie Madrox is… me.' Jamie stuttered.

'Real eloquent there Jamie.' Sharon snickered.

'You wanna go out on a date?' Jamie suddenly blurted.

Sharon blinked a few times in confusion.

'Okay… I didn't see that coming.' She said. 'You just kinda went and blurted it out there.'

Jamie mentally kicked himself; he must have looked _so_ desperate.

'I kinda find that cute in a guy though.' Sharon admitted. 'Add to that the fact that you can create copies of yourself and we got a one man party.'

'Does that mean that you will… go out with me?' Jamie asked, trying not to sound too desperate.

'What the hey?' Sharon shrugged. 'You're cute, in a clumsy kind of way so yeah, I'll go out with you on a date.'

Sharon giggled as she saw Jamie start to grin like a loon.

'Yeah, not _too _desperate.' She giggled.

* * *

**Inside-**

Kurt and Kitty were walking outside the red room.

'Man, zhat Frost lady sure looks like a hottie.' Kurt said.

'Watch your nest step, fuzzy.' Kitty warned him with a mock frown. 'You're _this_ close to getting a whupping.'

'Of course, she novhere as cute as you.' Kurt hastily added as he put his arm around Kitty's waist.

'Glad to hear it.' Kitty replied, her mock anger gone for now. 'Although I like, kinda et the idea that there was something between those two.'

'Do you zhink zhey used to be togezzer?' Kurt asked.

'I'm willing to like, bank my collection of plush dragons on it.' Kitty replied.

Kurt winced as he saw the expression his girlfriend's face.

'Ach nein, you're getting ze look.'

'What look?' Kitty asked.

'Ze look you get vhen you're planning somezhing. And it never goes vell…'

'Oh of little faith…' Kitty replied. 'It is time to put Operation: Fuzzy and Frosty into affect.'

'Mein Gott, no good can come of zhis.' Kurt winced.

**TBC…**

* * *

**_Next: Fuzzy Blue Diamonds_**

_Kitty starts her plan to get Hank and Emma back together and drags poor Kurt along for the ride._


	3. Fuzzy Blue Diamonds

**The Chicks Dig The OTHER Fuzzy Dude!**

**Chapter 3: Fuzzy Blue Diamonds**

**By**

**The Uncanny R-Man**

**Disclaimer- **_I don't own anything, all familiar characters belong to Marvel._

* * *

**Shout Outs-**

**Kitty- **_Okay, I hope you enjoy this update._

**Needles- **_Emma and Magneto? God no! That is sick! _

**GothikStrawberry- **_Glad that you liked this. The Hellfire Club will turn up, no plans for the Hellions I'm afraid. _

**Agent-G- **_Yup, I'm taking a different route with the Jamie/Sharon thing. I'm still going to do the Sharon/Rahne fight though. Heh. _

* * *

**Xavier's-**

Sharon was in her room hanging up a poster of the feline Avenger Tigra when somebody knocked on the door.

'Hey Sharon, can we come in?' Kitty called through the door.

'Sure, come on in.' Sharon replied as she got down form her chair. 'What can I help you with?'

'Well we know that Ms Frost and Mr McCoy used to be like, together.' Kitty said. 'And Kurt and me have got a plan to get them back together.'

'Vhat do you mean we, Katzchen?' Kurt asked. 'You press-ganged me into zhis zhing.'

'Aww c'mon Kurt.' Kitty purred seductively. 'I'll give you a surprise…'

'Oh no! Your feminine wiles aren't going to work on me zhis time!'

'Oh really?' Kitty replied. 'Even if I do… this?'

Kurt was paralysed with surprise as Kitty grabbed his face and mashed his lips with hers.

'You in fuzzy?'

'I am your slave…' Kurt replied, his eyes glazed over.

'So, what's this plan you've got?' Sharon asked.

'Listen carefully, for I shall say this only once…' Kitty replied as she started to explain her plan.

* * *

**Later-**

Emma was being led along the corridor to the Danger Room.

'Ororo wants me to go through a new simulation with her?' Emma asked. 'It's a little unusual but, okay.'

Sharon just nodded in reply and led Emma into the Danger Room.

Once Emma was inside, Sharon shut the door and ran off as she heard approaching footsteps.

Approaching from the opposite direction, Hank was being led along by Kitty and Kurt.

'Logan wants me to run through a new simulation with him?' Hank asked. 'This is most unusual but I shall believe you no matter what.'

'He's just inside.' Kitty said as she opened the door and shoved Hank inside. She then nodded to Kurt and he quickly locked the door, preventing any escape.

Inside the Danger Room, Hank was confronted by the sight of a highly peeved Emma Frost.

'I think we've just been conned.' Emma sighed.

'Kitty and Kurt will rue the day that they crossed Henry P McCoy!' Hank replied.

There was a burst of static as Kitty spoke through the intercom.

'We're like, doing this for your sakes.' Kitty said. 'We're fed up of you tow moping around the mansion like a pair of angst-filled teenagers. We're not going to let you out until you make up.

'I'd just like to say zhat I am part of this under false duress!' Kurt quickly added.

'_Kurt!' _Kitty and Sharon hissed.

* * *

**A little while later-**

Hank and Emma were still stuck in the Danger Room. Emma was sat against one of the walls while Hank was standing upright with his arms crossed over his chest.

'I really am sorry for leaving you like that.' Emma said honestly. 'It was selfish of me to leave you for wealth and power.'

'I'll say.' Hank snorted bitterly. 'I've never been hurt like how you hurt me.'

Emma nodded sadly.

'If it's any help, nobody I met compared to you. There may have been more willing sexual partners than you could shake a particularly sexy stick at but you were the one I only ever loved.'

'I never stopped loving you either, Emma.' Hank said as he sat down beside her. 'Trish Tilby has nothing against you.'

'Ah yes, the television reporter.' Emma nodded. 'I saw a story in the paper; it was one of those trashy tabloid things. Why did you ever break up?'

'It was my new form.' Hank replied. 'After I turned, I tried to get back in contact with her but she wouldn't even speak to me.'

'The bloody witch!' Emma hissed. 'She had no right! I aught to find out where she lives and make her believe she is a Thai prostitute called Mai-Ling!'

'As amusing as that would be, there's really no need.' Hank replied. 'The last I heard, Trish got herself pregnant on a one-night stand and is now in a rehab centre.'

'Serves the cow right.' Emma sniffed.

Emma cautiously took Hank's hand in hers, unsure how he would react.

'Hank, do you think there's a chance that we might be able to give it one more try? Us, I mean.'

Hank stayed silent and promptly kissed Emma straight on the lips.

'Oh my…' Emma said, slightly out of breath. 'I never get tired of that. I guess that means that we're back together then, huh?'

'Pretty much, yes.' Hank nodded.

Emma snuggled closer to Hank and laid her head on his shoulder.

'I've got a dirty idea…' Emma said as a cheeky smile spread across her face. She then leant closer and whispered in Hank's ear.

'Why Miss Frost, that is positively filthy!' Hank chuckled.

* * *

**Later-**

It was time for the afternoon's Danger Room session and Logan was waiting for the kids to assemble outside. Kurt looked over and noticed that Kitty looked rather pre-occupied.

'Vhat's ze matter, Katzchen?' He asked.

'I don't know fuzzy.' Kitty replied. 'I can't help but feel like I've forgotten something…'

Kurt just shrugged and waited for Logan to let them in to the Danger Room.

Logan pressed his access number into the keypad and the door swished open. The feral Canadian's face paled at the sight before him.

'What the flamin'…?'

'Oh my stars and garters!' Hank yelped as he covered himself up the best he could.

Emma's response was somewhat more explicit.

'Okay kids, Danger Room's cancelled fer today…' Logan said.

A collective whoop rose form the assembled kids. The only kids that weren't whooping it up were Kurt and kitty.

'Aww nuts!' Kitty winced. 'I knew I forgot something!'

**TBC…**

* * *

**Next: My Girlfriend Is A Teenage Were-Cat**

_Jamie and Sharon go on their date. It isn't to last however, as Sharon gets in a fight with another New Recruit._


	4. My Girlfriend is a Teenage Werecat

**The Chicks Dig the OTHER Fuzzy Dude**

**Chapter 4: My Girlfriend is a Teenage Werecat**

**By**

**The Uncanny R-Man**

**Disclaimer- **_All familiar characters belong to Marvel._

* * *

**Shout Outs-**

**TheLegendaryManHimself- **_Yeah, Emma does have an awfully dirty mind, doesn't she? Heh. More Kurrty fluff soon. _

**Needles- **_Sharon Vs Wolfsbane? Am I really that obvious? I guess I am… Watch out for more stars and garters soon…_

**GothikStrawberry- **_Catseye Vs Wolfsbane? Obvious but… correct._

**Agent-G- **_Yeah, I liked that last part in the Danger Room too. Heh. The new form that I was referring to was Hank's blue ape form. _

* * *

**Xavier's-**

Jamie was sitting in the rec room with Tabitha, Roberto, Sam, Rahne, Ray and Amara, Bobby and Jubilee. The New Recruits were holding their weekly movie night.

Sharon trotted in clad in her jammies, a pink T-Shirt with a cartoon cat on the front and matching shorts, and noticed Sam and Roberto arguing over their choice of movies.

'D'yah have any ideas how lame Magnum P.I. is?' Sam asked.

'That show is a classic!' Roberto replied. 'Unlike your lameass musicals. Oklahoma? How cornball can you get?'

'At least it isn't Mary Poppins.' Tabitha added.

'Ooh, I love that film!' Rahne grinned. 'Let's watch that!'

'Oh God no!' Tabby groaned. 'If I hear Dick Van Dyke's lame Cockney accent one more time, I swear that I'll scream!'

'Why not watch Pirates of the Caribbean?' Sharon asked. 'Everybody likes that, right?'

'I'll say.' Bobby replied. 'That Kiera Knightley chick, yowzer!'

Jubilee shot a glare at Bobby and swatted him upside the head.

'Pervert!'

'Orlando's dreamy.' Amara sighed.

'Get a grip, girl.' Tabitha snorted. 'Johnny Depp's the way to go, savvy?'

'I'll say.' Sharon added. 'Johnny Depp's a hottie!'

'Well that's decided then.' Tabitha said as she held up the relevant DVD. 'We're gonna watch _Pirates_… again.'

Sharon tried to look for a vacant seat.

'Y-you can sit with me if you want.' Jamie said.

'My, such a young gentleman.' Sharon smiled as she snuggled up to Jamie, making the young mutant blush. Sharon laid her head on Jamie's shoulder and twined her tail around his leg. Jamie squeaked at the feeling and fidgeted uncomfortably.

* * *

**Later-**

The movie had finished and everybody made their way to bed. Jamie and Sharon were the only ones left.

'Well that was a wonderful night Jamie.' Sharon said. 'You really know how to give a girl a god time.'

'Really?' Jamie asked. 'Do you really mean that?'

'Oh yeah, dates go best if it's with someone cute.' Sharon replied.

'Y-you think I'm cute?' Jamie stammered.

'Yup.' Sharon nodded. 'You may be a li'l bit clumsy but you're still a cutie.'

A shy smile gradually spread on Jamie's face.

'Well, you're pretty cute yourself.' Jamie said. 'D-do you wanna do this another night?'

'Don't see why not.' Sharon replied. 'Perhaps you'd want to have a date without the others. Y'know, on our own?'

Jamie's blush deepened even more.

'U-uh s-sure…' He stuttered.

'See you tomorrow then.' Sharon said. 'Night Jamie, and thanks…'

Jamie's eyes widened in surprise as Sharon pecked him on the cheek.

'Seeya Jamie…' Sharon purred.

Jamie just stood there dumbstruck as Sharon trotted up the stairs.

'Seeya…'

* * *

**The next day-**

The morning after the date in the rec room, Jamie was waking through the corridors of the X-Mansion when he heard somebody walk up behind him.

'Ye seemed pretty cosy wi' Sharon last night.' Rahne said.

'I guess…' Jamie shrugged. 'She is pretty. We're going out on a date later on…'

'Wow, way tae go Jamie!' Rahne grinned as she grabbed him in a hug. 'Yuir goin' on yuir first date!'

Unseen by the two young mutants, Sharon was watching them from the top of the stairs. The young catgirl's eyes narrowed in anger.

'The cow, how dare she…?'

* * *

**The rec room, later-**

Rahne was pottering about in the rec room when she sensed somebody walk up beside her. She looked up to see who it was, it was Sharon.

'Oh hey Sharon, what can I help ye with?'

Sharon just glared at the older werewolf.

'You cow!'

'Excuse me?' Rahne asked, not really following. 'What're ye talkin' aboot?'

'You know what I'm talking about!' Sharon snarled.

Then, much to Rahne's surprise, Sharon slapped her on the face.

'What the Hell did ye do that f'r?' Rahne asked as she put her hand to her cheek.

'I saw you hugging Jamie like that!' Sharon replied. 'We've barely gone on our first date and you're stealing him away from me!'

'What're ye talkin' aboot y'eedjit?' Rahne asked. 'I wouldnae steal Jamie away form ye.'

Sharon snarled as lavender fur began to sprout over her body.

'You're lying…'

* * *

**The kitchen, meanwhile-**

Tabitha, Sam, Bobby, Roberto and Jubilee were sitting in the kitchen having a quick game of cards. Their game was going relatively well until they heard a huge crash.

'What the hell was that?' Tabby asked. 'It came from the rec room.'

'Wasn't Rahne in the rec room?' Bobby asked.

Sam's eyes widened in fear as he got up and ran off in the direction of the rec room. Tabby and the others followed suit. The sight that greeted them was one of utter devastation, a lavender panther was duking it out with a russet werewolf. It was terrible, there was biting, scratching, you name it.

'Whoa, gimmie ten on Rahne.' Tabby said.

'I'll have some of that too.' Bobby added as he pulled out a ten-dollar bill. 'What about you Sammie?'

'Ah can't bet on those two. It's wrong.' Sam replied. 'Besides, Rahne's too nice do ally hurt anybody.'

There was then the sound of a vase breaking over somebody's head.

'Ah stand corrected.' Sam sighed. 'Gimmie ten on Rahne…'

The group of New Recruits carried on watching the two young women tear into each other, slapping, biting, scratching, and so on…

'Goddess! What's going on here?' Ororo gasped as she came to investigate the commotion. 'Rahne, Sharon, stop this at once!'

The two girls ignored Ororo's order and carried on tearing each other to shreds. Ororo conjured up a lightning bolt to split them up.

'Now, will you tell me what was going on here or will I have to bring in the Professor?' Ororo asked.

'That cow was staling Jamie away form me!' Sharon hissed. 'I saw it with my own eyes!'

'Yuir mental!' Rahne replied. 'I wouldnae ever do such a thing!'

'It doesn't matter either way.' Ororo said. 'You fully know the Professor's feelings about violence; you'll both have to be punished. And you others, you should know better.'

Sharon and Rahne both shot a glare at each other as Ororo led them to the Professor for their punishment…

**TBC…**

* * *

**Next: Fuzzy Dude and Hellfire**

_Emma gets an invitation to a ball at the Hellfire Club and decides to take Hank along with her. How will Hank react once he sees Emma in her old Hellfire attire? I think you'll all be able to figure that out…_


	5. Fuzzy Dude and Hellfire

**The Chicks Dif the OTHER Fuzzy Dude**

**Chapter 5: Fuzzy Dude and Hellfire**

**By**

**The Uncanny R-Man**

**Disclaimer- **_All familiar characters belong to Marvel._

**

* * *

Shout Outs-**

**GothikStrawberry- **_I'm sure that Rahne and Sharon will get along, they only fell out over a guy. Heh._

**TheLegendaryManHimself- **_With a foster mother like Emma, Sharon would be open about her feelings. Plus, the whole cat-girl thing only heightens things. _

**Agent-G- **_Yup, I'm going a new way with the Hellfire Club, no fight against Selene and Blackheart for one but Selene will make an appearance this chapter. _

* * *

**Xavier's-**

Hank was standing in the foyer anxiously waiting for Emma. They were due to go to a party being held at the Hellfire Club's headquarters in Manhattan. Although Emma had left the spotlight, she still held the title of the White Queen and was invited to all of their major parties, even though she wasn't an active part of it anymore.

Emma had convinced Hank that they should get ready separately as she had a special surprise for him. Hank's mind whirled at whatever surprise Emma had for him. And knowing Emma, the surprise would be something different altogether.

Hank smoothed some imaginary creases out of his tuxedo for the umpteenth time and checked his reflection in the mirror. Hair suitable styled and combed? Check. Teeth nice and squeaky clean? Check. Breath suitably minty fresh? Check again.

If everything was so okay, why was Hank so nervous? Okay, this was technically his first date with Emma since they got back together again, and his first date since he turned into a fuzzy blue ape. Oh God, how would the Hellfire Club react to their White Queen dating an unusually-coloured ape?

'There's really no need to fret so, Henry. You look quite fetching.'

Hank spun on his heel to see Emma walk down the stairs. He couldn't see how she was dressed as she had a fur-lined cloak wrapped around herself.

'Mmm, quite fetching.' Emma purred as she ran a hand down Hank's arm. 'Lucky that we've already had out fill of sex tonight or I would be tearing that tuxedo straight off of you.'

Hank turned an unusual shade of purple as he blushed furiously.

'Emma, please. Don't say things like that.' Hank hissed. 'The students could hear.'

'Oh let them hear.' Emma replied. 'I'm sure that they've heard worse, what with their MTV and late-night porn.'

'I thought Charles had all those channels locked out.' Hank said.

'Well somebody had them unlocked.' Emma replied. 'I don't know who…'

'Quite.' Hank replied sceptically. 'Shall we depart milady?' Hank asked as he offered Emma his arm.

'Depart we shall.' Emma replied as she took Hank's arm and walked out towards the waiting limousine that would take them to Manhattan.

The chauffer held the door open for them as they climbed into the car. Hank marvelled at the décor, the upholstery was all in white and there were even white curtains on the tinted windows.

'I gather you approve?' Emma asked, as if she sensed Hank's thoughts.

'Well it's certainly… cosy.' Hank replied, gently squeezing the seat with one hand.

'I should hope it is cosy.' Emma said. 'This is my own personal limousine.'

'Really?' Hank asked. 'You have your own personal limousine?' Man, he had better marry Emma quickly; he could be rolling in cash soon.

'And a Porsche.' Emma replied. 'Not to mention a nice little yacht stationed in the Bahamas. There's also my personal jet. My own personal carriage on the Orient Express. A private penthouse suite in the Ritz. A villa in Monte Carlo. Oh, and there's the Lamborghini. That's my favourite. Have I covered everything?'

Hank's mouth fell open at the amount of Emma's property.

'Henry, are you okay?' Emma asked, patting him on the thigh gently.

'I-I'm fine.' Hank replied. 'I didn't realise how prosperous you were.'

'Well I did play the Stock Market a little when I was part of the Hellfire Club.' Emma said offhandedly. 'It made me a nice little nest egg.'

'Little?' Hank chuckled. 'You could create an omelette to feed most of Africa with that nest egg.'

'I'm sure it's not that big.' Emma chuckled modestly. 'It's really nothing.'

Hank just shot Emma an amazed look and noticed the mini-fridge sat beside him.

'Champagne?' he offered.

'Don't mind if I do.' Emma replied as Hank poured out some glasses.

'Cheers.' They both said as they klinked their glasses together.

'Mmm, Dom Perignon, my favourite.' Emma smiled, licking her lips. 'You can't get better than drinking Dom Perignon in a limousine with the man you love.'

'I agree.' Hank replied. 'Apart from the man part…'

Emma just chuckled at that and sat back to enjoy the ride.

* * *

**Hellfire Club HQ, Manhattan-**

The building that housed the West Coast headquarters of the Hellfire Club was a huge place. It was originally meant to be a place where society's elite could gather without the constraints of the outside world. Unknown to the general public, and all but the most senior members of the club, it was actually a haven for filthy rich mutants.

Hank looked out of the window in wonder at the size of the place. He had seen mansions before but nothing like this, the Hellfire Mansion beggared description.

The limousine stopped and the chauffer opened the door once more. Hank stepped out and helped Emma disembark.

'Ready to meet the Hellfire Club?' Emma asked.

'As ready as I'll ever be.' Hank replied.

Emma took Hank's arm once more and ambled into the building.

Guarding the door to the Hellfire Club was a pair of oddly dressed men. They were dressed in bodysuits that were purple in the most part with red highlights. On their faces they wore expressionless masks, concealing their identities.

'Lovely to have you back with us, your majesty.' One of the guards nodded.

'Why thank you Reece.' Emma replied. 'That's most kind of you.'

'Enjoy the party.' Reece nodded.

'Oh, I intend to.' Emma chuckled.

Hank took in his surroundings. There were several colossal crystal chandeliers hanging from the ceiling. Hank would have hated to be the guy that cleaned those things. Below their feet was a beautiful marble floor. The floor was so expertly polished that it was quite difficult to keep your footing. Add to that the life-size statues of various members of the Inner Circle, then you could be sure that the Hellfire Club wasn't for peasants.

As soon as they reached the warmth of the building, Emma unwrapped her cloak form around herself, revealing her attire to Hank for the first time. Hank's heart almost stopped at the sight. Emma was dressed in a _very _low-cut bodice. It was amazing that Emma managed to keep herself contained in such a small garment. Her cleavage seemed to be fighting to escape at that very moment. Hank quickly moved on to the rest of Emma's attire… As well as the white leather bodice, she was wearing a pair of skimpy white panties. Add to that some high-heeled thigh-length boots, opera gloves and a diamond clasp that kept Emma's cloak around her neck, then you could see why she was called the White Queen.

'I trust you approve?' Emma asked coyly.

'A-aren't you cold?' Hank asked, finally finding his voice.

'Not particularly.' Emma replied. 'I'll be fine just as long as I have you to snuggle up to.'

Hank smiled at that and allowed himself to be led into the ballroom where a small crowd had gathered.

'Ah Emma, glad to see that you can make it.'

Hank turned to see an immaculately dressed man with brown hair styled into a ponytail walk up and kiss Emma twice on the cheeks.

'And this must be Henry McCoy, I trust you enjoyed your journey?'

'I-it was… nice.' Hank replied, struggling for a reply.

'Henry, this is Sebastian Shaw, the Black King.' Emma explained.

'The building is quite impressive, Mr Shaw.' Hank said.

'Oh please, call me Sebastian.' Shaw replied. 'And yes, this building has been in my family for many years.'

'My, my, my, don't we look delectable as ever?'

'Hello Pierce.' Emma sighed.

'Excuse me, Sebastian.' Donald Pierce the White King, said, barging past the Black King rather rudely and kissing Emma on the hand. 'Always a pleasure, m'dear.'

'I wish I could say the same.' Emma replied.

'Oh, you wound me madam.' Pierce said, clutching his heart dramatically.

'She'll do more than wound you if you don't leave, Pierce.' Shaw warned.

'Well I can see that I'm not wanted here.' Pierce sniffed before turning on his heel with a flick of his blonde pony-tailed hair and sauntering away.

'You'll have to accept my apologies for Pierce over there.' Sebastian sighed, rubbing the bridge of his nose. 'I honestly don't know what possessed me to name him White King.'

'Shall we see you later Sebastian?' Emma asked.

'You can bet on it my dear.' Shaw replied. 'I'll be talking to Tessa if you need me. See you later, Henry.'

'Sebastian.' Hank nodded.

'Shall we mingle, Henry?' Emma asked, clutching Hank close.

'Mingle we shall.' Hank replied.

* * *

**Later-**

Emma and Hank had just finished a waltz and were mingling separately. Hank had just snagged a glass of champagne form a passing waitress clad in a skimpy French maid's costume when the hairs on the back of his neck stood on end.

'My, my, we must be Ms Frost's new consort.' A sultry voice purred.

Hank turned around to see a raven-haired woman standing before him. Like the other female members of the Hellfire Club, she was dressed in skimpy lingerie, but this time in black. The woman also had piercing ice-blue eyes that seemed to bore straight through Hank.

'Selene.' The raven-haired woman said, offering her hand. 'I'm the Black Queen.'

'Henry McCoy.' Hank replied as he took Selene's hand and kissed it. Hank thought that he felt a jolt of electricity shoot through his body as he touched his lips against the woman's hand but just shook it off as too much drink.

'Charmed I'm sure.' Selene said. 'I believe that you teach at that little school for mutants in Westchester?'

'Well, I try my bets.' Hank replied modestly. 'But it's a living.'

'It must be a lonely life.' Selene said, stepping closer and gently stroking Hank's arm. 'Mmm, firm.'

Hank cleared his throat nervously and attempted to move away but her felt Selene's gaze holding him in place. Fortunately, Emma was there to save him.

'Ah Henry, there you are. Come along, it's almost time to go…'

'It was nice meeting you.' Selene said, blowing Hank a kiss.

'Is it really time to go?' Hank asked. 'But we have hardly met anybody. I heard that Tony Stark himself is here.'

'Yes, yes, Iron Man is a member of the Hellfire Club.' Emma replied, waving her hand as you would to dismiss a servant. 'I ad to get you away form Selene, she's a man-eater.'

'I'm sure she's not that bad.' Hank replied.

'She is, trust me.' Emma replied. 'She sucks the life out of people. She's a psionic vampire.'

'Oh, good job you got me in time then.' Hank said. 'Shall we go?'

'Yes, let's go back to the nice, safe X-Mansion.' Emma replied.

As the pair hurried along the halls, they passed a pale woman with her raven locks piled atop her head. She was talking to an imposing-looking man with short red hair.

'I always knew that the White Queen had unusual tastes in men, but this is quite surprising.' The red-haired man said.

'I do not see how you are one to judge, Norman.' The pale woman replied. 'Perhaps now is the time to mention your more… illegal pursuits, Mr Osborn?'

'I told Shaw nobody was to mention that, Tessa.' Norman Osborn hissed. 'I thought this was a haven for society's elite, away from the rules and constraints of thw outside world.'

'Well Shaw must had neglected to mention that to me.' Tessa sniffed. 'Now, if you will excuse me, I have work to do. Oh, and if you ever threaten me again, you will learn what real Hellfire is like…'

Norman just gulped nervously as Tessa sauntered away. As Sebastian Shaw's personal aide, she had the power to back up her threats.

'I knew I should have accepted Fisk's offer of joining his little team.' Norman muttered as he slunk away.

**TBC…**

* * *

**Next: Hanky-Panky**

_The origin of Emma Frost. Emma tells Hank how her powers manifested amidst a turbulent family life with an over-bearing father, a manipulative older sister, a drug addict brother, a rebellious younger sister and an oblivious alcoholic mother. _


	6. HankyPanky

**The Chicks Dog the OTHER Fuzzy Dude**

**Chapter 6: Hanky-Panky**

**By**

**The Uncanny R-Man**

**Disclaimer- **_All familiar characters belong to Marvel._

**

* * *

Shout Outs-**

**Needles- **_Yup, I knew Emma used to be a brunette. I read her mini-series too._

**GothikStrawberry- **_I wouldn't necessarily call the Hellfire Club friendly. Although I agree with you on Pierce, he's an ass._

**Agent-G- **_Funnily enough, Tony Stark is/was a member of the Hellfire Club in the comics. Well his father was. I don't know whether Tony inherited his father's post or not. Sorry, no August. I'm keeping this as canon as possible. _

* * *

**Xavier's-**

It was nearing breakfast time in the X-Mansion and Ororo Monroe was going about her usual daily routine of preparing breakfast for everybody. Seeing that the younger students looked up to her as a mother figure (especially those with no family or less than positive home lives) Ororo was more than happy to make breakfast. Besides, it was a much better idea than letting Kitty within one step of any cooking implements. The X-Men hard hardly recovered form her last culinary efforts.

Ororo turned from the toaster as she heard soft footsteps approach and much to her surprise, it was Emma Frost.

Ororo cocked a curious brow at Emma's state. Unusually for the normally immaculately dressed blonde, Emma had a bad case of bed head.

The blonde plopped down onto a chair with a noticeable wince.

'Busy night?' Ororo asked as she passed Emma some coffee in her usual mug with a slogan that read _'#1 Bitch.'_

Emma nodded in thanks and gulped down her coffee, no sugar, lots of milk, just how she liked it.

'What gave you that idea?' Emma asked.

'Oh, nothing…' Ororo chuckled. 'I trust you and Hank had a pleasant night.'

Emma narrowed her eyes in suspicion.

'What are you getting at, 'Ro?' Emma asked.

'Nothin, really.' Ororo replied, turning her back to conceal her obvious amusement at Emma's state.

'Ro, don't lie to a telepath.' Emma sighed. 'It's demeaning.'

Ororo gripped the edge of the counter for support as her body started to convulse with concealed laughter.

'Oh grow up.' Emma sighed. 'So what if I am a bit sore from shagging Hank's brains out? Is that such a bad thing?'

'Hunh. I never knew McCoy had it in him.' A newly arrived Logan piped up.

Emma let out a yelp of surprise and spilt her coffee all over her lap.

'_Oh bloody hell!_' She hissed. 'I just had this nightie cleaned.'

'I kinda doubt that ya spent most o' last night wearin' that thing. Frosty.' Logan snickered. 'You an' Hank could wake the dead with yer lovemakin'.'

Emma got up and shot the feral Canadian with a glare that could cut through steel, or adamantium in this case.

'Oh shut up, you… stupid, stupid man.' Emma sniffed as she tilted her nose in the air and sauntered away.

'Sod it.' Emma hissed as she slunk away. 'Damn Little Hank for being not-so little…'

* * *

**A few hours later-**

Breakfast had been over for several hours now and it was time for Sharon to continue her punishment for brawling with Rahne.

Unfortunately, Sharon ended up with the nasty task of cleaning the X-Jet while Rahne had the relatively easy task of raking up leaves in the garden.

Sharon muttered to herself as she dragged a vacuum cleaner over to clean the X-Jet's interior. Kurt and Kitty were there too, after their attempts at matchmaking blew up in their faces. They were sat on top of the X-Jet, scrubbing away at all the grime that had accumulated since the last time the X-Jet was cleaned.

Sharon continued to mutter to herself as she lugged the vacuum clearer into the X-Jet.

* * *

**A short time later-**

Sharon had finally finished vacuuming the X-Jet's interior. She lugged the vacuum back out and leant against the X-Jet's side.

'Man, I can't believe how much crap was in there.' Sharon sighed as she wiped sweat from her brow. 'Mr Logan'll go mental when he finds out.'

Sharon was about to put the vacuum cleaner away when a bucket fell down from above her, spilling its contents all over the floor.

'Geez!' Sharon hissed. 'Watch it guys. I'm still down here, remember?'

Nobody answered.

'Guys?' Sharon asked. 'You there?'

Still no answer.

Sharon sighed reluctantly as she turned into her transitional werepanther form and clambered up the side of the X-Jet. She sound found out why nobody answered: Kitty and Kurt were too busy making out!

An evil smile spread on Sharon's face as she changed back to her human form and picked up a bucket of water.

'This'll teach ya.' Sharon chuckled to herself as she threw the bucket over the two lovebirds.

Kitty and Kurt both let out identical yells as they jumped apart.

'Mein Gott!'

'Eww!'

Sharon just clutched her sides as she burst out laughing.

'Oh you are _sooo _going to pay for that, Sharon.' A drenched Kitty hissed.

'Ja, it's payback time.' Kurt added as he picked up another bucket.

'Oh no, you wouldn't dare.' Sharon said as she backed away slowly. 'C'mon guys, can't you take a joke?'

All that Sharon got in reply was a bucket of dirty water in the face. She picked up a sponge and threw it back in retaliation. Kurt ducked and the sponge hit Kitty square in the face.

'Ha! She got you good, Katzchen.' The fuzzy elf snickered.

Kitty wiped her sodden hair from her face and growled angrily at Kurt.

'Katzchen, please.' Kurt said as he backed away. 'You don't vant to do zhis…'

Kitty brandished another sponge with vengeance in her eyes and the sponge war began…

Down below them, the doors to the hangar swished open as Emma walked in.

'Sharon, you can stop doing your chores now.' Emma called. 'The Professor says that it's oka…'

_Whap!_

Kurt's throw went wide and Emma ended up with a sponge in her face.

'Eep.' Kurt winced.

'_Miss Frost!'_ Kitty yelped. 'We didn't like, see you there…'

Emma just narrowed her eyes at the trio of young mutants, this really wasn't her day.

* * *

**Hank's lab, later-**

Hank was pottering around in his lab retuning random doodads and adjusting whatcha-ma-callits.

Hank was so immersed in his work that he didn't even notice Emma sidle in to the lab.

The blonde telepath sauntered up to Hank and placed her hands around his eyes.

'Guess who…'

'Tigra?' Hank asked hopefully.

Emma swatted Hank on the arm.

'Wrong answer buster and now you have to be punished…'

Hank's eyes sparkled mischievously as he grabbed Emma by the waist and swept her off her feet.

'You know you're the only one for me.' Hank smiled as he kissed Emma lovingly. 'I would never dream of straying far from you.'

'You damn well better.' Emma replied with a half-hearted glare. 'Because I don't want to do anything that you'd regret…'

Hank just smiled and hoisted Emma on to his lap as he sat down on the edge of his workbench.

'Emma, can I ask you a serious question?' He asked.

'Sure, go ahead lover.' Emma replied.

'Why do you never talk about your family?' Hank asked. 'Whenever the conversation turns to family, you always change the subject.'

'Perhaps that's because my family life was less than perfect.' Emma sighed.

'Care to share?' Hank asked gently. 'Perhaps you would feel better if you talked to somebody about it.'

Emma took a deep breath before starting her story.

'Well, my father was Winston Frost, CEO of Frost Industries. He was a hard taskmaster. He expected the best from his family as well as his employees. I doubt he ever had a loving thought. I bet the only way he was intimate with my mother was when he wanted children. My mother sought alcohol to dumb the pain and spent most of the time wandering around in a daze.'

'Then there were my brother and my sisters. Christian was several years older than me and was the one I felt closest to. He was also gay. I was the only one that he trusted to keep his secret, knowing how our father would react. But everything end sup in the open eventually and Daddy found out. Daddy then showed his true colours and had Christian's lover framed for drug dealing. Christian was so upset that he tried to hang himself.'

'Oh God.' Hank gasped. 'That's terrible.'

'He wasn't successful.' Emma replied. 'Once Christian recovered, he fell into a deep depression and sought to ease the pain with drugs. Adrienne, my older sister, was no help. She was the one that told Daddy in the first place, just because I revealed her secret modelling career. Bitch.'

'Cordelia however, she's a different story entirely. She was the rebellious one. She tried to garner attention by radically changing her image. One week she would be a punk, the next she would be a hippy, anything to get a rise out of Daddy. Not that it ever worked though. Daddy was too concerned with his precious business.'

Hank took Emma's hand in his and gently squeezed it in comfort.

'I'm sorry if I brought up any bad memories.' Hank said soothingly.

'That's okay, sweetie.' Emma replied, smiling gently. 'It felt good to let it out.'

'See, I told you it would work.' Hank chuckled.

'Now what do you say to an early night? Eh, Hanky-Panky?'

'Please don't call me that, Emma.' Hank sighed.

'Okay.' Emma replied. 'What about Hanky-Wa…'

**TBC…**

* * *

**Next: Fuzzy Dude's Picnic**

_Hank and Emma go on a romantic picnic only to run in to an old friend, Sabretooth!_


	7. Fuzzy Dude's Picnic

**The Chicks Dig The OTHER Fuzzy Dude**

**Chapter 7: Fuzzy Dude's Picnic**

**By**

**The Uncanny R-Man**

**Disclaimer- **_All familiar characters belong to Marvel._

* * *

**Shout Outs-**

**Needles- **_Ooh, I never knew that about Fitzroy. I've never really read much on Shinobi so I wouldn't really know about him._

**GIZMAC- **_Thanks for the review. And for those of you that take time to read these shout outs, go and read _'Kurt's Fight' _by Chasx._

**GothikStrawberry- **_I think I've made that Thai prostitute joke enough. But you can bet that Sabes will get his butt kicked._

**Agent-G- **_I've used most of the best bits from the old version, now it's time to use new material. I don't know whether Emma's brother is dead though. Her older sister, yes. Like you said, Emma shot her. _

**Goddess123452003- **_Glad you liked the chapter. The scene with Emma, Logan and 'Ro was awfully cute, wasn't it? Watch out for more frosty-flavoured fluffiness._

* * *

**Quote of the day- **_'Just squeeze your rage into a bitter little ball and release it at an appropriate time. Like that day I hit that referee with a whiskey bottle. 'Member that?'- _**Homer Simpson (The Simpson)**

* * *

**The New Jersey Pine Barrens-**

Somewhere in a vast pine forest that was the New Jersey Pine Barrens, a road cut through the foliage like a snake writhing through a gargantuan bed of leaves. A nondescript black van pottered down the road, on the way to a nearby campsite. The van contained Emma Frost and Hank McCoy. They were on their way for a nice romantic picnic.

'Not that I don't appreciate this or anything, Henry.' Emma said. 'But why come all the way to the Pine Barrens? There are perfectly good picnic sites in Bayville.'

'I would have chosen somewhere more local.' Hank replied. 'But I somehow doubt that they would appreciate a fuzzy blue gorilla frequenting their establishment.'

'Point.' Emma nodded. 'The Pine Barrens are awfully beautiful this time of year though. Then again, they're beautiful all year round.'

'It's a pity that we never get more chances to visit.' Hank replied. 'What with the incessant attacks from Magneto and what have you.'

'We will have to look out for the Jersey Devil, however.' Emma said. 'You do know the story, don't you?'

'Betsy Shroud. Mother of twelve children.' Hank replied. 'Expecting number thirteen she said _I pray_ to_ God this one's born a devil and puts me out of my misery. _Sure, enough, the child was born as a fearsome beast. Part human, part devil. It has lived in the Barrens ever since, feasting on horses, pigs, children… _really_ Emma.' He snorted. 'You don't seriously believe such trash, do you?'

'I like to keep my mind open.' Emma replied. 'At least we're not going to Crystal Lake.'

'Perish the thought of facing a machete-wielding maniac.' Hank chuckled.

Emma just laughed out loud at that and sat back to enjoy the ride.

Unknown to the two mutants, they were being watched. They were being watched by a pair of evil eyes. Upon seeing two potential victims, the eyes retreated back into the shadows of the trees.

* * *

**Later-**

The van containing Hank and Emma pulled up into the parking area of a nearby campsite. Hank didn't have any reason to fear showing his true appearance, as he had borrowed one of Kurt's image inducers and set it to project his old appearance, how he looked before he turned into a fuzzy blue ape.

Hank stepped out of the car and moved around the passenger's side to let Emma out.

'Why thank you Henry.' Emma smiled as she took Hank's offered hand and stepped out of the van. 'You were always so chivalrous.'

'My mother didn't raise a rascal.' Hank replied.

'Well you are a rascal in some areas, Henry.' Emma said, a cheeky smile spreading on her face. 'You're quite an animal in bed.'

'Talk about the pot calling the kettle black.' Hank chuckled. 'You are one ravenous lady, Emma Grace Frost, and I don't mean food.'

Emma just shook her head slightly as they walked to a vacant patch. Once he was sure that nobody could see, Hank turned off his image inducer.

'It was certainly kind of Ororo to make us all this food.' Emma said as they unrolled the blanket and laid it down on the floor. 'There was really no need for her to do it though, I can cook quite well myself.'

Hank cocked a curious brow at that. Emma Frost wasn't well known for her culinary skills.

'Oh come on Henry, my cooking isn't that bad, is it?' Emma asked.

Hank searched for a reply that wouldn't hurt Emma's feelings.

'Well… your cooking is certainly better than Kitty's.'

'_Anybody's_ cooking is better than Kitty's.' Emma replied. 'Hell, I could throw the contents of this basket in a puddle of mud and it would still taste better than Kitty's cooking.'

'We're lucky that Ororo was considerate enough to pack us some lunch.' Hank said. 'If I was left to pack some food on my own, we would end up with a basket of Twinkies.'

'You say that like it's a bad thing.' Emma replied. If there was somebody that could match Hank's semi-addiction to the eponymous cake products, it was Emma.

'Just putting things into perspective.' Hank chuckled.

* * *

**Later still-**

With the blanket unrolled and the food unwrapped, Hank and Emma tucked in to their veritable feast. There were sandwiches of various fillings and numerous bags of chips. Ororo had even packed some strawberries and cream. There was some chilled champagne too.

'Mmm, these strawberries are delicious.' Emma said as she wiped some cream from her lips. 'Here, try some…'

Emma picked up a strawberry, dipped it in the cream and placed it in Hank's mouth.

'Mmm. Quite delectable.' Hank smiled. 'Ororo has good tastes.'

Emma took a sip of her champagne and realised that she needed another refill.

'Hunh, I seem to have drank all of my champagne.' She sniffed. 'May I have some more?'

'You would be perfectly welcome to have some.' Hank replied. 'That is of course if we hadn't drank it all anyway.'

'Oh.' Emma sighed. 'Doesn't time fly when you're getting wasted?'

'Speak for yourself, my dear.' Hank chuckled. 'I can hold my liquor.'

Emma frowned slightly as she sensed something nearby.

'Emma, are you okay?' Hank asked concernedly.

'I'm not sure.' Emma replied. 'I think I can sense somebody nearby.'

'Or some_thing_.' Hank added. 'It could even be the Jersey Devil. _Oooooo…_'

'Stop it!' Emma hissed as she swatted Hank on the arm. 'I'm serious, somebody's watching us.'

Hank looked around to see if he could find any unwelcome visitors.

'I'm don't think there's anybody here…' He said. 'We're alone… as far as I know.'

Hank's words were instantly disproved, as there was the sound of a feral growl from the trees behind them.

'Damn, I had to open my mouth.' Hank muttered. 'I'd recognise that growl anywhere.'

'Sabretooth?' Emma asked.

'Afraid so.' Hank replied.

'Gee, yer reputation's well-earned, McCoy.' Sabretooth growled as he slowly stepped out of the shadows of the trees. 'It's only a matter of time until ya become a real boy.'

'What do you want, Creed?' Hank growled.

'I thought it was pretty obvious.' Sabretooth replied. 'I'm gonna slay me some X-Freaks.'

'I'd like to see you try, Creed.' Emma replied.

'An' I'd like to see you stop me, frail.' Sabretooth replied, as he looked the blonde up and down. 'Mmm, I might not kill you straight away. I think I'll have a little… fun first.'

Emma sneered in disgust as she got ready for a fight.

'Ooh, looks like the frail's got guts.' Sabretooth snickered. 'Howsabout we see what they look like?'

Before Hank could do anything in defence, Sabretooth leapt at Emma. Fortunately, Emma was ready for him. Her skin changed into diamond and Sabretooth's claws harmlessly slid off.

'Since when have you been made out of diamonds?' Hank asked.

'Oh, this little thing?' Emma asked as she admired her shiny new form. 'This is new. Kind of my secondary mutation, if you will.'

'That's all well an' good but it ain't gonna stop ya form gettin' gutted.' Sabretooth snarled.

'Bring it on.' Emma replied.

'Oh, it's brought all right.' Sabretooth snarled. 'It's gonna be brought all over yer pretty little ass!'

'Could you please not refer to my partner like that?' Hank replied. 'We both find it highly demeaning.'

'I could care less what ya consider demeanin' or not.' Sabretooth growled. 'Now just get here and get yer butts shredded!'

'I think not.' Hank replied as he leapt on top of Sabretooth. 'I believe that you sire, will be the one that gets their backside shredded.'

'Whatever.' Sabretooth said as he threw Hank off him.

Emma joined the fray as she brought a high-heeled foot down on Sabretooth's face.

'Geez, watch those shoes, would ya?' Sabretooth hissed. 'You could have somebody's eye out.'

'That's the idea, Sabretooth.' Emma replied as she picked the feral mutant up by the throat. 'Now, shall we see just how hard diamonds can be?'

Hank winced as Emma viciously punched Sabretooth in the face, breaking his nose with a nasty wet crunch.

'I'd advise you to give up while you still can.' Hank said. 'You really wouldn't like Emma when she's angry.'

'Ooh, I'm _really_ scared.' Sabretooth snorted. 'What's she gonna do? Hit me with her Prada hand bag?'

'Louis Vitton, actually.' Emma replied as she kicked Sabretooth in the groin. '_Peasant_.'

Emma reached into the picnic basket and picked up the champagne bottle.

'Emma, you're not going to do what I think you're going to do, are you?' Hank asked.

'If you're thinking that I'm going to smash this bottle on Creed's head, then you'd be correct.' Emma replied as she did so, shattering the bottle in Sabretooth's face.

'Ooh, that's just nasty.' Hank winced.

'Just think yourself lucky that it isn't my time of the month, Creed.' Emma said as she slugged him in the mouth, breaking a few teeth with her diamond-hard fists. 'God knows what kind of hurt you'd be in for then…'

'Emma, I think he's unconscious.' Hank said as he prodded Sabretooth with his foot. 'That champagne bottle upside the head really did it for him.'

'Well it was pretty thick glass.' Emma replied. 'It was a pity to waste it actually. Such nice sculpting too.'

'I'm sure that Charles has several more bottles in the wine cellar somewhere.' Hank replied.

'The mansion has a wine cellar?' Emma asked, her eyes wide in shock. 'Why was I not informed?'

'You never asked.' Hank replied cheekily. 'Now, what do you say we get our feral friend here tied and gagged?'

'Just one last thing to make sure he stays placid.' Emma said as she shifted back to her human form and placed her hand on her temples. 'Mr Creed is now in a telepathically induced deep sleep. When he wakes, he will find himself being violently sick whenever somebody utters the words _parsley_, _longitude_ and _immense._'

'Was there really any need for that last part?' Hank asked.

'A girl has to get her fun somewhere.' Emma shrugged.

'My girlfriend is very weird.' Hank chuckled to himself as they carried the unconscious Creed to the van.

**TBC…**

* * *

**Next: Shindig, Hootenanny or Gathering?**

_It's party time at the X-Mansion as Sharon celebrates her fifteenth birthday. Wackiness and Truth or Dare inevitably ensues._


	8. Shindig, Hootenanny or Gathering?

**The Chicks Dig the OTHER Fuzzy Dude**

**Chapter 8: Shindig, Hootenanny or Gathering?**

**By**

**The Uncanny R-Man**

**Disclaimer- **_All familiar characters belong to Marvel._

* * *

**Shout Outs-**

**GothikStrawberry- **_Yes, Emma is indeed weird. Not that it's a bad thing. Heh._

**Agent-G- **_Don't worry, Sabes is going to get his butt kicked loads more times in my stories. As for truth and dare, you'll have to wait and see…_

* * *

**Notes- **_You might want to read_ 'Reality Trip' _by Agent-G before reading this, as that's where the aforementioned conversation with the alternate Amanda and Kitty happened._

* * *

**Quote of the day- **_'I'm glad we're stranded. I'll be just like the Swiss Family Robinson-only with more cursing! We're gonna live like kings. Damn hell ass kings!'_**- Bart Simpson (The Simpsons)**

* * *

**Xavier's-**

It was an exciting day in the home of the X-Men. It was the eve of Sharon Smith's fifteenth birthday and the young cat girl could hardly contain herself.

'I'm gonna be fifteen! I'm gonna be fifteen!' Sharon sang as she skipped along the mansion's hallways.

Sharon danced past Jamie and spun him around.

'I'm gonna be fifteen! I'm gonna be fifteen!' She sang again. 'You hear that, Jamie? I'm gonna be fifteen! Yay! Go me!'

Jamie just smiled at his girlfriend's exuberance.

'Pretty excited, huh?' Jamie smiled. 'You're gonna hit the big one-five. Then I'm gonna be dating an older woman. Cool.'

'I'm not _that_ old.' Sharon replied. 'I'm only two months older than you. Heck, you'll soon catch up to me.'

'So what kind of party do you want?' Jamie asked. 'A shindig, a gathering or a hootenanny?'

'What does a gathering entail?' Sharon asked.

'Roberto said it had something to do with cheeses.' Jamie replied.

'A shindig?' Sharon asked.

'Mellowed music stylings and malt beverages.' Jamie replied.

'What about a hootenanny?' Sharon asked.

'Chock full of hoot an just a little bit of nanny.' Jamie replied.

'Hootenanny it is then.' Sharon smiled. 'Man, this birthday is gonna be _sweet!_'

* * *

**The next day-**

The next morning, Sharon walked down to an unusually silent mansion. Usually the whole place was full of young mutants running about. Ray and Roberto were always arguing over something or other and Kitty was usually chasing Bobby or Kurt after being a victim of one of their infamous pranks.

Sharon narrowed her eyes as she used her feline senses to try and find anything untoward. Her heightened hearing caught hushed whispers coming from the direction of the rec room so she carefully padded towards the sound.

Sharon pushed the door to the rec room open and jumped back in shock as the others leapt out from various hiding places.

'_Surprise!' _Everybody yelled.

'You… jerks!' Sharon panted as she put her hand on her chest and waited for her heartbeat to get back to normal. 'You could've gave me a heart attack.'

'Happy birthday, sweetie.' Emma said as she kissed her foster daughter on the cheek. 'Now come and open your presents.'

Sharon shot a half-hearted glare at the others as Emma led her over to a rather large pile of presents.

'Whose are you gonna open first, Sharon?' Kitty asked, eagerly bouncing on her balls of her feet.

Sharon picked up a present at random.

'This is from Scott and Jean.' Sharon said as she examined the label.

Sharon excitedly tore the present open and peered inside the box.

'_Omigod!_ Shoes!' Sharon squealed excitedly as she held out a pair of expensive-looking lavender strapless high-heels. 'Geez, they musta cost a bundle.'

'Nothing we couldn't handle.' Jean shrugged. 'I trust you approve.'

'Do I?' Sharon giggled giddily. 'I can never have too many shoes.'

Jean and Scott just smiled proudly as Sharon continued to tear open her gifts.

* * *

**Later that day-**

Several hours later and Sharon's birthday hootenanny was in full swing. Logan had wheeled out the DJ set and was spinning some discs while couples danced. Jean and Scott, Jubilee and Bobby and Tabby and Amara were currently cutting a rug on the dance floor. Kurt had the snack table staked out as usual while Kitty was talking with Rogue.

'I still can't like, believe all that stuff happened.' Kitty said. 'Getting visited by copies of ourselves from other dimensions? That's too weird.'

'And how.' Rogue nodded. 'How about that guy ah was datin'? Well, the other meh.'

'Oh yeah, total stud.' Kitty giggled. 'Gambit had better watch out if that Vince guy ever comes back.'

Rogue swatted her friend on the arm.

'There is nothin' goin' on between me an' the Swamp Rat!' She hissed.

'You are _sooo_ in denial.' Kitty giggled. 'You want him _sooo_ bad.'

'Well, what about the other Kurt an' Amanda walkin' in on you an' Kurt makin' out?' Rogue asked.

Kitty stopped giggling and shot Rogue a glare.

'That's like, a low blow, Rogue.' Kitty pouted. 'I was just having a laugh.'

'So am ah.' Rogue replied. 'Besides, what was that thing the other Amanda said about you an' Kurt?'

Kitty blushed deeply at that.

'Nothing… It wasn't really important.'

'It was somethin' kinky, wasn't it?' Rogue asked. 'C'mon, yah datin' mah brother, you gotta fill me in on stuff.'

'I-I have to go…' Kitty replied. 'Jean wants to like, talk to me…'

Rogue smiled contentedly as Kitty quickly slunk away.

Over with Sharon, the young feline mutant was helping herself to some shrimp puffs when Tabitha walked up with Amara.

'Hey birthday girl, a couple of us are gonna sneak off and have a game of truth or dare, wanna join us?' Tabby asked.

A cheeky smile slowly spread on Sharon's face.

'Sounds like fun.' Sharon grinned. 'Just gimmie a sec and I'll come with.'

Tabby nodded in reply and led Amara away to get prepared for the game.

* * *

**Elsewhere-**

The chosen venue for the game of truth or dare was Tabby's bedroom. The beds had been shifted out of the way and everybody had gathered in a circle on the floor.

'Okay, who wants to go first?' Tabby asked.

'I say the birthday girl goes first.' Kitty giggled.

'I'm game.' Sharon shrugged. 'I'll go with… truth.'

'Aww _man._' Bobby groaned. 'That's so lame.'

'Just let her speak, Bobby.' Kurt replied. 'We might get something worthwhile.'

Tabby tried to think of a question.

'Okay, how about this… Have you ever thought about using Jamie and his dupes for an orgy?'

'_Eww!_' Sharon winced. 'How can you ask such a thing? I'm fifteen, for God's sake!'

'Is that a yes or a no?' Jubilee asked.

'It's a _no_, ya bunch of perverts!' Sharon shivered in disgust. 'You guys are all sick!'

Then it was Sharon's turn to choose a victim.

'Kitty, truth or dare?'

'Truth, please.' Kitty replied.

Sharon grinned evilly as she thought of just the right question to ask her.

'Just what was it that the other Amanda said to you about Kurt?'

Kitty turned bright red as she gazed at the floor.

'I-I don't remember…' She muttered.

'Aww, c'mon Katzchen.' Kurt said, sidling up to her. 'You can tell us. We're all friends here.'

Kitty sighed reluctantly before she answered.

'Amanda said that Kurt liked getting his tail nibbled.'

'And have you tried it yet?' Tabby asked.

'That's two questions.' Kitty replied. 'And besides, it was like, Sharon's turn to ask me.'

'Okay then.' Sharon said. 'Have you tried the tail thing yet?'

'_Now_ who's the pervert with the dirty mind?' Kitty retorted. 'Anyway, it's my turn to choose. Kurt, truth or dare?'

'Truth.' Kurt replied.

'_Aww, man!_' Bobby groaned. 'This game is lame. I want to see some dares, dammit!'

Kitty just ignored Bobby and continued onwards.

'Kurt, do you like getting your tail nibbled?'

'Mein Gott…' Kurt groaned. 'Do I have to answer this?'

'Unless you wanna forfeit.' Jamie replied.

'And I don't vant to find out vhat ze forfeit is.' Kurt sighed. 'I do like getting my tail nibbled, okay? You happy?'

'Very much so.' Tabby nodded. 'Your turn to choose now.'

'Tabitha, truth or dare.' Kurt asked.

'Dare.' Tabby replied fearlessly.

'I dare you to kiss Amara.' Kurt said.

'_Kurt!' _Kitty hissed. 'You can't say that!'

'That's all right, Kitty.' Tabby replied. 'I'm okay with it as long as Amara is.'

'I'm good.' Amara shrugged.

'Less talking! More smooching!' Bobby demanded.

Tabby just shrugged and planted a quick, gentle kiss on Amara's lips.

'What was _that?_' Bobby asked, wrinkling his nose in disappointment. 'That wasn't a kiss.'

'Kurt didn't specify how long the kiss had to be.' Tabby replied with a cheeky smile.

'Dammit!' Kurt hissed. 'Outwitted again.'

'Seeing that I've already chosen, I hand my turn over to Amara.' Tabby said. 'Your turn to choose, sweetie.'

An evil smile spread on Amara's face, as she looked straight at Bobby.

'Bobby, seeing that you were so eager to see Tabby and me kiss, you have to kiss Kurt. For ten seconds!'

'Aww, _crap!_' Bobby hissed. 'I don't wanna do that. Can't I forfeit?'

'If you want to eat a pair of Logan's skivvies, then yes.' Tabby replied.

Bobby muttered a curse under his breath.

'Okay, I'll do it.' He sighed. 'Anything is better than eating Logan's underwear.'

'Less talking, more smooching.' Tabby demanded.

Bobby closed his eyes and puckered up, as did Kurt.

Everybody cheered in glee as they kissed.

Bobby went to put his hand on Kurt's shoulder but the fuzzy elf slapped it away.

'Payback's a bitch, huh?' Tabby chuckled evilly.

'And how.' Amara replied, matching Tabby's evil chuckle.

* * *

**Later-**

The party had finally wound down and everybody had retired to bed.

Jamie and Sharon were presently waiting outside her room.

'Man, that was one heck of a party.' Sharon sighed. 'I can't wait until the next one. Thanks loads, Jamie.'

'I'm not really the one that you should be thanking.' Jamie replied modestly. 'Ms Frost did most of the work.'

'Yeah, but I can't do this to Ms Frost, can I…?' Sharon replied as she kissed Jamie.

Jamie's eyes snapped open in surprise at the sudden action but soon got into it himself.

'Mmm, that was great.' Sharon said, a little giddily. 'I never get tired of kissing you, Jamie. You're just so… yummy!'

'You're pretty yummy yourself, Sharon.' Jamie replied as he licked his lips. 'You taste like strawberries.'

'Which is kinda ironic seeing that I'm allergic to them.' Sharon replied. 'See you in the morning?'

'You bet.' Jamie nodded. 'Sweet dreams.'

'I certainly will with that kiss.' Sharon purred as she slunk into her room.

Left alone in the hallway, Jamie just smiled to himself and sighed happily.

'Man, I love that girl.' He sighed.

**TBC…**

* * *

**Next: The Fantastic Diamond Woman**

_Emma and Hank run into the Fantastic Four when they take some of the X-Kids on a return journey to St Sebastian's Island._


	9. The Fantastic Diamond Woman

**The Chicks Dig the OTHER Fuzzy Dude!**

**Chapter 9: The Fantastic Diamond Woman**

**By**

**The Uncanny R-Man**

**Disclaimer- **_All familiar characters belong to Marvel._

* * *

**Shout Outs-**

**Numbuh 333 half way 2 hell- **_I'm a big ol' Buffy fan myself and that episode was a good one. Not one of my favourites but it was pretty good on its own. I'll try to add more Kurtty into this but this story is mostly Hank/Emma and Jamie/Sharon._

**GothikStrawberry- **_Yeah, that bit with Kurt and Bobby was good. Inspired by that scene in American Pie 2. I agree, Rogue is _so_ in denial. _

**Agent-G- **_You were kind enough to use the previous incarnation of this fic as a chapter in '_Reality Trip'_ and it was only right that I referenced it back. St Sebastian's was that island the X-Men visited in '_Cruise Control' _I can't wait to see the Fantastic Four movie either. It's gonna be a cool one._

_

* * *

_

**Quote of the day- **_"We do big monsters! Big monsters in Manhattan, that's our signature piece!"- _**Thing (Astonishing X-Men #7)**

* * *

**Xavier's-**

The X-Mansion was a hive of activity as several of the students got themselves ready for Spring Break. The luggage had already been loaded into the Velocity and it was only a short amount of time until everybody was ready to leave.

Kurt, Kitty, Jamie, Sharon, Amara and Tabitha waited patiently for Hank and Emma to bring the last of the luggage.

'Geez, why is it taking them so long?' Kitty muttered impatiently. 'I've never like, known _anybody_ to take this long to get ready.'

'I've got a fair idea what they might be doing.' Tabitha suggested with a lecherous grin. 'Or _who_ they might be doing to be more accurate.'

'_Tabitha!'_ Amara hissed. 'How dare you say such things! Mr McCoy and Ms Frost aren't sex-mad you know.'

'And I wish I could believe you, 'Mara.' Tabitha replied as she put her arm around her friend's shoulder. 'But we all know what they get up to in that little love nest of theirs.'

'Tabitha, do you mind?' Sharon winced. 'That's my mother you're talking about.'

'And _what_ a mother.' Tabitha nodded as she licked her lips. 'Yum.'

'_Excuse_ me…' Amara glared, her hands on her hips. 'I'm standing right here.'

'Aww, you know I love ya, Princess.' Tabitha reassured Amara as she nuzzled her neck. 'Nobody does me better.'

Amara just blushed at that.

'Aww, ain't she cute?' Tabitha giggled as she placed a gentle kiss on Amara's cheek. 'Have I told you how glad I am we got together?'

'Not often enough.' Amara challenged. 'I never get tired of hearing it though.'

'Now there's enough of that, children.' Emma said as she walked in with Hank following close behind. 'There will be time for shenanigans later.'

'Emma dear, are you sure it's such a good idea to encourage them?' Hank asked.

'There's nothing wrong with two people getting all snugly, Henry my love.' Emma replied. 'Or have you forgotten our little trip to the opera?'

'I didn't know you guys vent to ze opera.' Kurt blinked. 'Vhat did you see?'

'Not all that much, actually.' Emma admitted. 'We found the show rather boring and decided to have a little… fun of our own…'

'Eww!' Kitty winced. 'Didn't anybody see you?'

'I'm a telepath, Katherine.' Emma smirked. 'I can make people see what they want.'

Kitty just shuddered in disgust.

'Eww! That is like, _sooo _disgusting. You guys are like, supposed to stop us from getting up to stuff, not doing it yourselves.'

'Oh, like you're the innocent one. Katherine.' Emma chuckled. 'I fully well know what you and Kurt were getting up to while you were supposed to be cleaning the X-Jet.'

Kurt and Kitty both blushed at that.

'Who told you?' Kitty squeaked as she shot Sharon a glare. 'It wasn't like we were making a lot of noise.'

'Vell, you do make zhis cutest little squeak when I kiss your neck, Katzchen.' Kurt replied.

'_Kurt!'_ Kitty hissed. 'Not helping.'

'Zhen zhere's ze tail thing…'

'That's for my benefit as much as yours, ya perv!' Kitty snapped, pointing an accusatory finger at the fuzzy elf.

'I think we had better get aboard before this lovers' tiff escalates, don't you?' Hank chuckled as he ushered everybody inside.

'_Aww…' _Sharon pouted. 'I wanted to watch…'

'Take a picture!' Kitty hissed. 'It'll like, last longer!''

'Okay…' Jamie grinned as he whipped out a camera. 'Say cheese!'

Kitty shielded her eyes as the flash went off.

'_Jamie!_ You are like, _sooo_ dead!' Kitty snarled.

'Sharon!' Jamie yelped. 'Save me!'

'You're on your own, bub.' Sharon replied as she followed the others inside.

Jamie yelped in surprise as Kitty chased after him.

'Are you sure this is such a good idea, Emma?' Hank asked with a heavy sigh.

'This little expedition was your idea, Henry.' Emma shrugged. 'Let all chaos that ensues be on your head.'

'Have I ever told you how simply delighted I am that you support me?' Hank asked sarcastically.

'Just get on that X-Jet before I give you a bloody good spanking.' Emma mockingly hissed.

'Was that a promise?' Hank laughed.

'In. Now.' Emma commanded.

'Javohl!' Hank saluted as he frogmarched into the X-Jet.

Emma just shook her head and followed him onboard.

* * *

**St Sebastian's Island, several hours later-**

Once the X-Jet had been safely hidden away and the luggage taken out, it was time to assign rooms. Hank and Emma would be sharing a room, of course, while the girls and boys shared separate rooms. This caused Kitty a little bit of consternation.

'Why do I have to share a room with these guys?' She groaned. 'I don't wanna share a room while they're like, having some HLA.'

'I vould happily take your place, Katzchen.' Kurt offered, waggling his eyebrows.

'In your dreams, fuzzy.' Kitty sneered.

'You have no idea.' Kurt sighed dreamily.

'Pervert.' Kitty sniffed as she picked up her case and headed for her room.

'I don't see why she was bitching so much, Kurt.' Sharon blinked. 'I would have been perfectly happy to share a room with her.'

'At least you don't have to share a room viz Jamie.' Kurt chuckled. 'He snores.'

'Oh, tell me about it.' Sharon nodded. 'It's enough to wake the dead.'

'Just wait a minute there, young lady…' Emma said as she narrowed her eyes. 'Just how do you know that Jamie snores?'

Sharon's eyes darted about as she searched for an answer.

'Uh… Bobby told me…' She eventually replied. 'Y-yeah, Bobby told me that Jamie snores.'

'A likely story…' Emma said, not convinced in the least. 'We shall talk about this once we get home.'

'Aww, crap.' Sharon hissed.

'Language!' Emma admonished. 'You are a young lady, not a very hairy Canadian.'

Sharon muttered under her breath and slunk after Kitty.

'And don't you dare think such thoughts.' Emma called after her. 'Such language belies a limited intelligence.'

'You were a little hard on her, won't you?' Hank asked.

'No daughter of mine will curse like a bloody street-walker.' Emma replied. 'My daughter is a perfect lady.'

'Omigod! Oh my f&cking God!'

'Looks like that idea went out the window soon enough.' Hank chuckled.

Emma shot Hank a glare before turning to see what all the fuss was about.

'_Sharon!_ What did I tell you about using language like that?'

'It wasn't me, Mom.' Sharon replied. 'It was Kitty. I think something's wrong.'

'Katherine, are you all right?' Hank asked.

Kitty just let out an ear-splitting squeal in reply.

'Omigod! Oh. My. God.'

'Hello?' Kurt asked as he waved his hand in front of Kitty's face. 'Earth to Katzchen, come in Katzchen.'

'J-J-Johnny Storm…' Kitty squeaked as he held a quivering hand in the direction of a handsome blond guy aged in his late teens surrounded by a gaggle of teenage girls all clamouring for autographs.

Kurt and the grown ups looked in the direction indicated.

'Hunh, look at that.' Kurt nodded. 'It is Johnny Storm. Small vorld.'

'If young Mister Storm is here, the rest of the Fantastic Four shouldn't be too far off.' Hank noted.

As if in reply, an arm stretched into view and pulled Johnny away from the sea of teenagers.

'But Reed, I want, I want…' Johnny pouted.

'There will be enough time for fuelling these young ladies' pubescent fantasies later, Johnny.' An authoritative voice replied.

'Oh my stars and garters…' Hank breathed. 'It's Reed Richards.'

'And Sue.' Tabby added with a dreamy sigh. 'Man, she's hot…'

'And how.' Kurt agreed.

'Forget those guys.' Jamie said. 'The Thing's way cooler.'

'Thanks fer the appreciation, kid.' A gravely voice replied. 'It does a guy good ter hear he's got a fan club.'

Jamie turned around and his jaw hit the floor as he saw the figure standing before him. Benjamin J Grimm, the ever-loving blue-eyed Thing.

'Geez kid.' Ben chuckled. 'Close yer mouth, yer catchin' flies.'

'I hope you don't mind us asking, Mr Grimm…' Hank piped up. 'But, why are the Fantastic Four here? I hope there isn't some kind of interstellar menace brewing.'

'Nope. Nuthin' like that.' Ben replied. 'Reed's brought us all here fer a calm li'l vacation. No interstellar whoozits or other-dimensional thingamabobs, we're here fer some time off.'

'Famous last words, Mr Grimm.' Amara pointed. 'Look!'

Everybody turned at the sound of screams and saw a monstrous beast rising from the sea nearby.

'Aww fer cryin' out loud…' Ben groaned. 'Why did it have to be him of all people?'

'Why, who do you mean?' Emma asked.

Before Ben could answer, the ground began to shake as another horrific creature burst from the ground. This time it had a portly little man with some kind of visor over his eyes.

'The surface world has trodden over my people for long enough! Now it is time for me to tread back!'

'It's the Mole Man.' Ben explained. 'He's been a thorn in the FF's side since day one.'

'Well, it looks like it's time for a team-up.' Emma grinned. 'As you would say Mr Grimm, _It's clobbering time!_'

'Nuff said.' Ben nodded.

**TBC…**

* * *

**Next: Oh My Stars And Garters, It's Clobbering Time!**

_It's clobbering time as the X-Men and the Fantastic Four team-up against the Mole Man and his monsters. 'Nuff said._


	10. Oh My Stars And Garters, It's Clobbering

**The Chicks Dig the OTHER Fuzzy Dude!**  
**Chapter 10: Oh My Stars And Garters, It's Clobbering Time!**

**By**

**The Uncanny R-Man**

**Disclaimer- **_All familiar characters belong to Marvel._

* * *

**Shout Outs-**

**Summers Groupie- **_Oh yes, I definitely plan on finishing this. In a few chapters' time in fact._

**Goddess123452003- **_Oh yeah, the Fantastic Four are always fun to write. Enjoy the update!_

**GothikStrawberry- **_I kinda like Johnny actually. He's such a loveable goof. Of course there's interaction between Emma and Sharon, Emma is Sharon's foster mother!_

**Agent-G- **_Trouble always seems to follow the Fantastic Four, doesn't it? If it's not shape-shifting aliens it's armoured despots going 'Bah, fool!'_

**

* * *

**

**Author's Notes-** _I'm starting to run out of ideas for this story so instead of needlessly squeezing it out forever with crappy ideas, I have decided to bring and end to this story soon. Don't worry though, I have a few more ideas that I wish to try but I will bring an end to this soon._

* * *

**St Sebastian's Island-**

The small group of X-Men and Fantastic Four all leapt in to defend the holiday resort of St Sebastian's Island from the Mole Man and his giant monsters. Hank peat up on to one of the monster's backs and tried to grab it in a sleeper hold-type manoeuvre. The Thing followed suit as he grabbed the other monster in a sleep hold.

'Henry, be careful!' Emma called concernedly. 'This isn't a Danger Room simulation!'

'I know, dear.' Hank replied as he tried to tighten his grip on the monster's neck. 'Perhaps you should be careful yourself. I believe that the Mole Man's minions have busy hands.'

Emma swore out loud as one of the Mole Man's yellow-skinned minions made a grab for her.

'Watch your hands, peasant!' Emma hissed as she kicked the creature in the face. 'Uch. I shall be washing myself for a month now.'

'If you need a helping hand, just ask baby, and the Human Torch will be ready and waiting!' The flaming hero grinned as he blasted more minions with a jet of flame.

'Johnny, keep your mind on the task at hand!' The Invisible Woman instructed. 'We need to get these things out of here before somebody gets hurt.'

'Apart from these guys?' Tabitha quipped as she sent more minions flying with a well-aimed time bomb.

'You cannot defeat me!' The Mole Man chuckled arrogantly from his perch atop the tallest monster. 'My minions are infinite! You will fall beneath my heel! Just as the rest of the world!'

'You talk too much, Harvey.' Mr Fantastic sighed as he bounced around, flattening minions with his rubbery body.

'Don't call me that!' Mole Man yelled indignantly as he tried to blast the stretchy scientist with his energy staff. 'My name is Mole Man! You hear me? _MOLE MAN!_'

'Ja, ve heard you vell enough.' Kurt sighed as he bamfed behind the would-be conqueror and snatched the staff away. 'And to tell you ze truth, ve have heard it all before.'

'You dare?' Mole Man hissed at the fuzzy mutant. 'You dare lay a hand on me?'

'I dare, alright.' Kurt smirked. 'Why? You vant another?'

Kurt simply poked Mole Man on the chest.

'You will _pay_ for this effrontery!' Mole Man yelled as he took a swipe at Kurt, only for him to bamf away again. 'Stay here and fight me, whelp!'

'Really, who like, says whelp nowadays anyway?' Kitty groaned as she phased through a minion and punched it upside the head.

'You should talk to Dr Doom some time.' The Human Torch snickered as he flew overhead. 'He's always _whelp_ this, _bah, fool_ that. Your bog-standard would-be conqueror types always talk like that.'

'Magneto never talked like that.' Amara remembered as she took out more minions with a lava blast. 'Right?'

'He was always more of a _kneel before your king_ _or feel my wrath_ type.' Tabitha replied as she tossed more time bombs at more minions.

'And we say that the bad guys talk too much.' Jamie sighed as he and a few Multiples piled on to the minions, forcing them down to the ground.

'I don't know about you guys…' A feline Sharon said. 'But I'm having the time of my life. Fighting along side the Fantastic Four, what's not to like?'

'As much as kicking ass is…' Tabitha added. 'I'd rather be in the hot tub with my woman.'

'_Tabitha!_' Amara hissed. 'Now really isn't the time for that kind of talk.'

'It's never time for_ that _kind of talk with you.' Tabitha sighed. 'You're too damn honourable. Damn your sexy, honourable hide!'

'Umm… Thanks?' Amara blinked.

Back with the two giant monsters, Hank and the Thing weren't having much luck.

'Do these plans of action usually work for you, Mr Grimm?' Hank grunted as he struggled to hold on to the monster as it bucked about like an angry steer.

'Come to think of it… No, it don't usually work fer me.' The Thing shrugged. 'Aww screw it, this is gettin' boring now!'

The monster grunted in pain as the Thing slammed his fists on the top of its head.

'Ah, the quick solution.' Hank nodded. 'Good choice.'

The fuzzy blue scientist copied the Thing's move as he slammed his furry fists onto the monster's head.

'_Timberrrrr!_' Hank called as the monster toppled forwards.

Hank's fellow mutants and the Fantastic Four scattered before the monster.

'You've lost, Harvey.' Mr Fantastic said with authority. 'Give up now. You have no chance of winning.'

'Curse you, Richards!' Mole Man hissed. 'You Upworlders can only win so many times. And when you lose, I will be there!'

'Whatever you say, Moley.' The Human Torch sighed. 'Don't go away mad, just go away.'

Mole Man sneered at the assembled heroes and made a hasty retreat down the giant hole he had made when he first appeared.

'Well that was fun.' Emma sniffed as she dusted herself off. 'We come here for a vacation and end up fighting for our lives against a hoard of monsters. There's never a dull moment with the Fantastic Four, is there?'

'You should have been there last week.' The Invisible Woman chuckled. 'Dr Doom had formed an alliance with the Super-Skrull. It was terrible. They were at each other's throats most of the time.'

'It wuz one big pain in the ass after another.' The Thing sighed. 'We shoulda all stayed in bed.'

'You should have seen some of the fights we had with the Brotherhood.' Kitty added. 'They were like, painful. Those guys never know when they're beaten.'

'It is the same with villains everywhere, Katherine.' Emma nodded sagely. 'Why, back in my Hellfire Club days there was this… Gentleman isn't really the word…'

'Pony-tailed nancy-boy?' Tabby offered.

'They were all pony-tailed nancy-boys, Tabitha.' Emma replied. 'Anyway, there was this one man, Donald Pierce, I believe you met him Henry.'

'Oh yes, the obnoxious blond fellow.' Hank nodded, remembering the annoying cyborg. 'What about him?'

'Well, he never knew when he was beaten. No matter how many times I put him in his place…'

'Kicked him in the 'nads, right?' Sharon snickered.

'If I may continue?' Emma asked in a deadpan manner. 'No matter how many times I put Pierce in his place, he would always insist on trying it on with me. I'm surprised that Shaw never had him locked in the dungeon.'

'You guys actually had a dungeon?' Sharon blinked. 'Why was I never informed?'

'The Hellfire Club dungeon is not a place for children, Sharon.' Emma replied seriously. 'If you saw some of the things I heard Selene got up to…'

'Don't wanna know…' Sharon groaned. 'Eww. Nasty visual place…'

'Well, I guess all that is left to do is thank you all for assisting us.' Mr Fantastic smiled. 'You have a very capable team here, Henry.'

'As do you Reed.' Hank smiled. 'As do you.'

'Aww, enough with the back-pattin' already.' The Thing sighed. 'I'm dyin' o' thirst here. I need beer.'

'That is the best idea I have heard all day.' Emma sighed heavily. 'I need a shower too. Those creatures had busy hands.'

'Tell me about it.' The Invisible Woman added with a shiver.

'I thought you vere used to busy hands, Ms Frost.' Kurt snickered. 'Ve all know vhat you and ze Beast get up to most nights…'

'We can hear it too…' Tabby added. 'Sometimes I lay awake at night…'

'_Tabitha!_' Amara hissed.

**TBC…**

* * *

**Next: Meet the Frosts**

_Emma takes Hank to Boston to meet her brother and sister, Christian and Cordelia. How will they react to the fact that their sister is dating a fuzzy blue ape man? Tune in next time to find out..._


	11. Meet the Frosts

**The Chick's Dig the OTHER Fuzzy Dude**

**Chapter 11: Meet the Frosts**

**By**

**The Uncanny R-Man**

**Disclaimer- **_All familiar characters belong to Marvel._

* * *

**Shout Outs-**

**Summers Groupie- **_I'm glad you like. More Hank/Emma fluff soon._

**Needles- **_Yeah, I think Christian would agree with Emma's choice of beau. Cordelia too, I guess._

**GothikStrawberry- **_Hell hath no fury like a telepath pissed off._

**Agent-G- **_It looks like my Fantastic Four idea was yet another idea that was better when I was planning it than the end product. Yeah, Christian was a drug addict in the comics._

**

* * *

Snow Valley, Massachusetts-**

In the small Massachusetts town known as Snow Valley, a non-descript black van pulled up to a swanky-looking mansion. The mansion was the ancestral home of the infamous Frost family. It had been passed down to the eldest son in every generation up his father's death. But when Winston Frost discovered that his eldest (and only) son was gay, he soon put a stop to that tradition. His middle daughter, Emma, inherited the mansion, as well as the majority of the Frost fortune. This caused a lot of tension between Emma and her older sister, Adrienne, who was hell-bent on inheriting the family fortune. It was Adrienne that let slip that Christian was gay.

The black van pulled up outside the mansion and two figures stepped out. They were Emma Frost and Hank McCoy, the aforementioned inheritor of the Frost family home and her fuzzy blue boyfriend. Emma had brought Hank to meet the two Frosts that she was still on speaking terms with, her older brother Christian and her youngest sister Cordelia.

'I'm still not sure about this.' Hank mumbled nervously as he looked around at their foreboding surroundings. 'How do you know that your siblings will like me? It's not as if I am overly normal. I'd wager that none of your previous partners were covered in blue fur and had a penchant for Twinkies.

'Well, one of my previous boyfriends had a thing for women's underwear.' Emma confessed. 'That was one relationship I'd rather not dwell upon.'

'I wish that I had something to match that.' Hank sighed. 'But alas, I have not had many relationships, given my bestial appearance.'

'Then other women are blind.' Emma comforted. 'I think you look beautiful.'

'You're only after me for my Twinkies.' Hank tutted.

'Oh shush.' Emma swatted him on the arm. 'I love you for many other reasons.'

'Such as?' Hank challenged.

'I can't say now…' Emma responded. 'What if Christian or Cordelia walked in on us?'

'Don't make any exceptions on our account, Em.' A voice chuckled.

Emma yelped in surprise.

'Christian! You sod!' Emma hissed in mock anger as she glared at her older brother, a rather handsome guy with short blond hair. 'How long have you been standing there? How much did you hear?'

'Ever since the ex-boyfriend with a thing for women's panties.' Cordelia, a young woman with short black hair, chuckled. 'To think that I had a crush on him.'

'It's wonderful to see you both.' Emma smiled honestly. 'I trust you haven't trashed my house too much. No crazy dance parties with lots of handsome naked men?'

'Oh, I wish.' Christian chuckled. 'Everything has been as peaceful as a…'

'Very peaceful thing.' Cordelia finished. 'Really, no naked dance parties here. I've got my apartment for that.'

'You always were a hell raiser, Cor.' Emma chuckled.

'So, who's the cute blue guy?' Christian asked, as he looked Hank over. 'Doesn't he talk?'

'Only when I am able to get a word in edgewise.' Hank chuckled, before withering under Emma's glare.

'You'd better watch yourself there, my friend.' Christian smiled. 'Em has a bitch of a temper.'

'And how.' Cordelia added with a chuckle. 'You got a name, Blue?'

'My name is Henry Phillip McCoy.' Hank introduced. 'But most people call me Hank.'

'It's a pleasure to meet you, Hank.' Christian smiled as he shook Hank's hand. 'Welcome to Casa De Frost.'

'You're not concerned about that fact that your sister is dating a fuzzy blue ape-man?' Hank blinked in confusion.

'You're talking to a former drug addict, Hank.' Christian responded. 'I don't think I have the right to judge who Emma dates. I've never been one for the whole over-protective brother bit.'

'Pity you're not that way with me, Chris.' Cordelia sighed. 'It's like the Spanish Inquisition sometimes.'

Christian decided to change the subject.

'So, why don't I let you come in?' He offered.

'That would be nice.' Emma nodded. 'Seeing that I own the house and all.'

* * *

**Later-**

Christian and Cordelia had been kind enough to help Emma and Hank with their luggage. The pair were presently unpacking.

Hank placed his shoes on the floor beside the bed while Emma sorted out her frilly underthings. Hank couldn't help but cast an eye over the flimsy garments and try to imagine what Emma would look like wearing them.

'You know…' Emma said as she examined one particularly revealing garment. 'For such a small amount of material, the stores sure now how to charge you for it.'

'Which is precisely why I sleep au naturel, my dear.' Hank chuckled. 'Although, that may also be due to the fact that pyjamas do not generally come in my size.'

'You don't hear me complaining, darling.' Emma smiled. 'Although, that yellow Speedo thing you wear in the Danger Room and on missions…'

Hank smiled at Emma's faraway look.

'Did you bring it?' Emma asked, her eyes shining with excitement.

'Of course.' Hank waggled his eyebrows as he held up the aforementioned garment.

'Put it on!' Emma demanded. 'I'll wear that reverse x-bra and the hot pants if you do…'

'As you wish, my fair lady…' Hank bowed chivalrously. 'Although, I do not really see why we need to wear such garments when they will inevitably be torn from our heaving bodies.'

'But do like dressing up for you…' Emma pouted adorably. 'And I have never heard you complain.'

Hank winced at his partner's expression. Emma frost knew how to make a man do her bidding. She had other talents than the contents of her blouse. One such weapon in her armoury was her so-called 'puppy-dog pout'. Emma would look at her victim with large, innocent eyes and stick out her bottom lip, making it wobble as if she was about to cry. No man could resist its lure. Heck, not even the all-mighty Wolverine was resistant to the 'puppy-dog pout'.

'Okay, okay. You may dress up.' Hank rolled his eyes. 'Just… Enough pouting.'

Emma laughed in victory.

'You, Emma Grace Frost, are an unspeakably evil woman.' Hank tutted. 'If only you were here when we were facing Apocalypse. One look at the '_puppy-dog pout_' and ol' Poxy would flee like a scalded dog.'

'No man can resist my charms.' Emma chuckled. 'These too.' Emma added as she indicated her ample cleavage. 'Are the babies not fantastic?'

'They are… Adequate.' Hank teased.

'Oh, you are going to pay for that.' Emma growled playfully. 'Nobody insults these puppies!'

'You cannot possibly defeat me!' Hank crowed. 'I am Hank McCoy! I am invincible!'

'That's what you think, _Henry dear_.' Emma narrowed her eyes. 'Have at thee!'

Downstairs in the kitchen, Cordelia winced at the loud thump emanating form the bedroom above their heads.

'That doesn't sound right.' The youngest Frost daughter groaned. 'Shouldn't we go up there and make sure everybody is all right?'

'You know as well as I do what Emma is up to, Cordelia.' Christian tutted. 'Leave them be.'

'You were never this lenient with me.' Cordelia pouted.

'That's because you're my baby sister.' Christian responded. 'I have to look out for you.'

'Or so you say…' Cordelia frowned.

'I just hope that Emma isn't at it for too long.' Christian continued. 'We're going out to dinner soon.'

* * *

**Later still-**

Hank, Emma, Christian and Cordelia were sitting at a desolate dining table at one of Snow Valley's most prestigious restaurants.

Whereas Hank's fuzzy blue countenance would be cause for alarm for the other patrons, the Frost name still carried a lot of weight in the town so they were all able to dine in relative peace.

Cordelia laid back in her seat with a satisfied sigh.

'Well, I'm stuffed. What about you guys?'

'I couldn't possibly eat another thing.' Christian groaned in satisfaction.

'Not even a _waffer theen meent_?' Hank asked in a bad French accent, echoing '_Monty_ _Python's The Meaning of Life'._

'Not even one of those.' Christian shook his head.

'I really must commend the chef.' Emma added. Nodding in satisfaction. 'Kristoff has really excelled himself this time.'

'Well, while we wait for the waiter to return with the bill, I would like to ask a question…'

The three Frosts watched on in curiosity as Hank went down on one knee in front of Emma and took out a small velvet box from his pocket.

'Oh my stars and garters…' Emma gasped as she put a hand to her mouth.

Hank looked straight into Emma's eyes as took her hand in one of his.

'Emma… You mean the world to me. When you left me all those years ago… It broke my heart. But now that we are together again… Things can only get better for us. You are the beautiful diamond to my fuzzy blue rough, you are the creamy filling to my Twinkie… Emma Grace Frost, will you do me the ultimate hour of becoming my wife?'

Emma just gawped back at Hank, her ability to speak apparently lost to her.

'Well then, Em…' Christian piped up. 'What're you going to say?'

'Yeah…' Cordelia added. 'Don't keep us waiting in suspense.'

Emma finally found her voice as smiled back at Hank lovingly.

'Of course I'll marry you, Henry.' Emma smiled, tears of happiness running down her face. The tears were ruining Emma's mascara, but she didn't care. This was the happiest day of her life. 'I would love to marry you. You make me feel complete, Hank. I-I-I…'

Emma found her voice being overcome with emotion.

'Oh God, I'm crying like a baby…' Emma sniffled as she dabbed at her tear-stained eyes with a napkin. 'I must look like a bloody panda with all this smudged mascara.'

'But you're my panda, Emma.' Hank smiled as he slid the ring on to Emma's finger. 'You're my beautiful, diamond-encrusted panda.'

'I love you Fuzzy-Blue Monkey-Boy.' Emma sniffled as she hugged Hank close.

'I love you too, Hooty McBoob.' Hank smiled.

'I thought I told you never to call me that in public…' Emma hissed.

'Oh well, that was one short engagement.' Cordelia tutted. 'Back to the drawing board, eh Emma?'

'Shut up, Cordelia.' Christian sighed.

**TBC...**

* * *

**Next: Something Diamond, Something New, Something Fuzzy, Something Blue…**

_Yes, it's the final chapter of '_The Chicks Dig the OTHER Fuzzy Dude_' and Emma and Hank are getting married. But first must come the bachelor and bachelorette parties…_


	12. Something Diamond, Something New

**The Chicks Dig the OTHER Fuzzy Dude**

**Chapter 12: Something Diamond, Something New, Something Fuzzy, Something Blue**

**By**

**The Uncanny R-Man**

**Disclaimer- **_All familiar characters belong to Marvel._

**

* * *

Shout Outs-**

**Todd fan- **_Wow, yet another short review. Very monosyllabic._

**Summers Groupie- **_I'm glad to hear that you liked Panda Emma. Heh-heh. Cute, non? Don't worry, there may be a sequel coming soon…_

**Doza- **_You liked the 'Hooty McBoob' thing, huh? God bless Simpsons references. Mmm, boobies…_

**Agent-G- **_Yup, last chapter I'm afraid. But there may very well be a sequel soon as well. Now I just need to think of a plot for the sequel. Generation-X or fuzzy blue babies…?_

**

* * *

The Hellfire Club, Manhattan-**

It was the night before the happiest day of Emma Frost's life and the blonde telepath was having fun with her gal pals at her bachellorette parties. One of Ororo's main duties as Emma's maid of honour was organising the bachellorette party. And organise it she did. Ororo had decided that the Hellfire Club had the necessary space to hold an inevitably raucous bachelorette party. Tessa had happily chipped in as well. As stoic and sometime humourless as the living computer could be sometimes, the woman sure knew how to organise a party.

Also amongst the guests were Susan Richards: the world-famous Invisible Woman and Janet Van Dyne: the Avenger known as the Wasp.

'Well, you have certainly excelled yourself with this party, Tessa.' Sue smiled as she looked around at their surroundings. 'Who would have thought that such a humourless woman would know how to have so much fun?'

'Just because I keep my sense of humour very well hidden, it does not mean that I do not have one.' Tessa responded simply.

'I just hope that I don't have too much to drink.' Sue added. 'Reed wants us to explore some new microscopic universe he discovered in one of Ben's old sneakers.'

'Your husband certainly knows how to have fun, Susan.' Emma snickered.

'Oh hush, Emma.' Ororo sighed. 'Let's not spoil this special night.'

'Especially now that I've arrived!' A seductive voice purred.

'Selene.' Emma groaned. 'I thought I could smell you nearby.'

'Must be all that brimstone.' Selene tutted as she brushed some imaginary brimstone off her cloak. 'It's such a bitch to wash out the smell…'

'And just what are you doing here?' Emma sighed.

'A party isn't a party without me!' Selene grinned evilly. 'Besides, I haven't given you your wedding resent yet. Boys…?'

Emma watched in surprise as Selene clapped her hands and several scantily clad hunks walked in to the room.

'Just think of this as my present to you, Emma dear.' Selene smiled as the boy-toys took their positions around the lucky lady. 'Just try to be gentle with them, okay? I do hate it so whenever people break my toys.'

'It looks like I've been wrong about you, Selene.' Emma smiled as she admired the man-flesh assembled around her. 'I should have invited you after all.'

'Think nothing of it.' Selene waved the comment away. 'It's a pity that another handsome man is going to be snatched up by the claws of matrimony. I never even got to know him…'

'Henry is mine now and forever.' Emma smiled happily. 'You lost out, Selene.'

'Oh well.' The Black Queen shrugged. 'At least I have my toys to play with. Don't I darlings?'

'Yes mistress.' One random hunk responded obediently as Selene stroked his chin.

'Good boy.' Selene smiled. 'You will be in for a treat later…'

'This party has taken a very disturbing turn.' Jan shivered.

'And how.' Ororo nodded. 'I never knew Emma's friends were so… carefree.'

'Carefree isn't the word that I'd use.' Sue added with a chuckle.

**

* * *

Harry's Hideaway: Bayville-**

Harry's Hideaway was a pub on the outskirts of Bayville. It was one of the few drinking establishments that welcomed mutants. It was one of Logan's favourite drinking places in the country. Canadian draught at a reasonable price. That was why Logan had chosen Harry's as the venue for Hank's bachelor party.

Seeing that Hank didn't have many male friends (or friends in general) away from the X-Men, Logan had invited a couple of his poker buddies along for the party. Nick Fury had taken some time off from SHIELD to lend Hank his support on the fuzzy blue mutant's last day of freedom. Reed Richards and Ben Grimm of the Fantastic Four were also there. Last, but by no means least, was Simon Williams: the Avenger known as Wonder Man. He and Hank had become close friends ever since Logan introduced them at a poker night over at Avengers Mansion.

'I hope you don't have anything too strenuous planned for us, Logan.' Hank sighed as he sipped his beer. 'You do remember what Emma said to you, don't you?'

'If I find one ounce of tar or one single feather on Hank's body, I will make you think that you are a Thai prostitute called Ling-Mei.' Simon remembered.

'Those X-Babes've certainly got you whipped, Logan.' Ben snickered. 'But seein' that McCoy's engaged to Frosty, I'm sure that yer used to that, ain'cha?'

'I can neither confirm, nor deny such accusations.' Hank sniffed simply.

'Whatever you say. McCoy.' Ben snickered. 'So Logan, when's the entertainment arrivin'?'

'Entertainment?' Hank asked, slightly worriedly. 'Why am I suddenly filled with a sense of impending doom?'

'Just you wait an' see, McCoy.' Logan snickered. 'I'm sure you'll enjoy it no matter what.'

'I just hope that it isn't anything too raucous.' Reed added. 'I may not know her very well but Emma Frost seems like a woman that one does not want to upset.'

'Yer takin' yer life in yer hands with this bachelor party, Logan.' Fury tutted. 'Frosty ain't gonna be happy when she finds out what yer got planned.'

'Aww, don't be such cowards, the whole lotta ya.' Logan rolled his eyes. 'Besides, here comes the entertainment…'

Hank gulped nervously as he heard sexy music start up and watched several scantily clad women saunter over to the table.

'Hank, I want ya to meet Alison, Vera and Cynthia.' Logan introduced. 'Say hello girls.'

'Hi Hank…' The three women purred as they sidled up to the fuzzy blue mutant. 'We hear you're about to get married…'

'Such a pity too.' Alison pouted as she stroked Hank's fuzzy chin. 'I never even got to know you…'

'How about we remedy the situations, girls?' Cynthia smiled. 'How about we give this handsome man a show that he'll remember?'

'Sounds like my kind of fun.' Vera agreed. 'Enjoy the show, Hank. I know that we will…'

Vera joined the other two women on the stage as they began to dance, rubbing each other up and down, kissing, groping. There were even Twinkies involved! It was quite disgusting…

'_Oh my stars and garters…'_ Hank thought to himself. _'Emma will go insane if she_ _finds out. My goodness! I didn't even know you could do that with a Twinkie!'_

**

* * *

Xavier's, the next morning-**

It was the morning of the wedding ceremony and Emma was inside the X-Mansion getting prepared for the ceremony. Despite the heavy drinking that occurred the night before, everybody was in high spirits. Ororo was making the last few adjustments to Emma's dress while Kitty and Sharon watched.

'Wow Emma…' Kitty gushed. 'You look beautiful. This must be like, the greatest day of your life!'

'If you're going to gush like this, can you _please_ do it a little quieter?' Emma winced. 'I'm still a little fragile from last night.'

'I did tell you to go easy on the _alkey-hol_.' Sharon teased. 'You've only got yourself to blame.'

'Et tu, Sharon?' Emma narrowed her eyes at her foster daughter.

'Well, there we go…' Ororo said as she stood up straight and admired her work. 'You are ready to get married.'

'Um… Yay?' Emma smiled sheepishly.

'It' like, totally okay if you're getting cold feet.' Kitty piped up. 'Getting married isn't something to like, be taken easily.'

'I know, I know.' Emma sighed. 'I guess it's now or never…'

Emma followed her entourage outside where Professor Xavier would be waiting. Seeing that Emma's real father was dead, she had decided that Xavier would be the one to escort her down the aisle.

'You look beautiful, Emma.' Xavier smiled.

'Oh hush, Charles.' Emma tried desperately to hide her blush. 'I bet you say that to all the students that get married.'

'Are you ready?' Xavier asked as the wedding march started up and he offered Emma his arm.

'As ready as I'll ever be.' Emma bit her lip nervously and took Xavier's arm, allowing him to lead her to the altar.

Down at the front of the congregation, Hank was just as nervous as his bride-to-be.

'There's nothing to fear but fear itself.' Hank chanted to himself. 'Fear leads to anger. Anger leads to hate. Hate leads to suffering…'

'Gettin' a li'l nervous, Hank?' Logan whispered.

'Am I really that obvious?' Hank responded.

'Uh-oh, here comes the bride…' Logan whispered as he looked out the corner of his eye. 'Keep calm, take deep breaths.'

'Logan, I am getting married.' Hank sighed. 'Not going through labour.'

Hank kept his attention focused on the priest standing before them as Emma and her entourage slowly walked up. Sharon and Jamie were in the lead in their rolls as flower girl and ring bearer while Ororo and Kitty (the maid of honour and bridesmaid respectively) followed. Xavier was behind them as he escorted Emma to her waiting husband.

Hank smiled happily at the sight of his wife in her beautiful white dress. Emma smiled back as she took Hank's hand in hers.

'If I may begin?' The priest asked. 'Dearly beloved, we are gathered her today to celebrate the union of this man, Henry Phillip McCoy, to this woman, Emma Grace Frost. If there is any person who can give reason why these two should not be married, may they speak or forever hold their peace. Now, Henry and Emma will recite their vows.'

Hank gently squeezed Emma's hand as he smiled at her lovingly.

'Emma, if there is a vision of beauty more divine than you, then I have yet to see it. You are the most beautiful woman in the world and I wish to be with you forever. You are the cream filling to my Twinkie. You are the solar flares to my Aurora Borealis. You make me complete, Emma.'

Then it was Emma's turn to recite her vows.

'Henry, when I left you all those years ago for fame and fortune, I was wrong to do so. It was selfish of me to leave the man that I loved. But fate would reunite us. And I am thankful that it has. This past year or so has been the best of my life so far and I hope we will have many more. I love you, Fuzzy-Monkey Man.'

The priest then continued.

'Henry, place this ring on Emma's finger and proclaim your unity to those present.'

Hank took the ring and gently slid it on to Emma's finger.

'Emma, with this ring, I, Henry Phillip McCoy, do pledge myself as your forever loving husband.'

The priest then turned to Emma.

'Emma, now place the ring on to Henry's finger and proclaim your unity to those present.'

Emma took the other ring and gently slid it on to Hank's finger.

'Henry, with this ring, I, Emma Grace Frost, do pledge myself as your forever loving wife.'

Then it was back to the priest one last time.

'By the power invested in me by the state of New York, I now proclaim you man and wife. You may kiss the bride.'

Hank and Emma took each other in their arms and kissed each other passionately and lovingly.

The congregation cheered in joy for the happy couple. Henry and Emma McCoy were joined together in holy matrimony. Nothing could take that away from them now. Today was the first day of the rest of their lives and they intended to enjoy it!

**END! **

* * *

**Author's Note- **_I hope you all enjoyed this story as much as I enjoyed writing it. It was great fun writing the ups-and-downs on Hank and Emma's relationship and I hope you will like the sequel just as much. Yes, that's right. I said a sequel. It may take me a while to write it, what with my already fan fiction payload, but there will be a sequel! See you all there for the first instalment of '_The Guys Dig the Fuzzy Chick!_' Don't be late!_


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